Sara Benincasa - xoJane

I Don't Understand Why People Are Obsessed With Butts

Sara Benincasa — Fri, 03 May 2013 10:00:00 -0400

What is so sexy about the butt?

Someone Please Tell Me Why My Hair Keeps Falling Out

Sara Benincasa — Thu, 02 May 2013 14:00:00 -0400

As long as I can remember, I've been picking long, curly hairs off sweaters, coats, blankets, and especially shower floors.

I Celebrate My Half-Birthday Because I Am Awesome

Sara Benincasa — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 16:00:00 -0400

As far as I know, the half-birthday celebration has no basis in any religious or cultural tradition. They do mention an un-birthday in "Alice in Wonderland," but that is any day that is not your actual birthday.

I'm About To Adopt A Dog, But What Kind Of Dog Should I Get?

Sara Benincasa — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:30:00 -0400

I do not want a breed that sheds a lot. I do not want a breed that has inherent problems like fragile legs (leaving out my favorite breed, the Italian greyhound) or breathing problems (goodbye, pugs.)

I'm on the South Beach Diet And I Would Punch You For A Noodle

Sara Benincasa — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:30:00 -0400

Diets are dumb and they don't work. So why am I on one, exactly?

What the Hell Do I Do With My New Short Pinup Girl Hair?

Sara Benincasa — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 11:00:00 -0400

I felt new and alive and sassy and sophisticated. People said it was cute! I felt cute! Then I showered and slept on wet hair.

OK, I'm Sorry I Thought Everyone in LA Was Stupid

Sara Benincasa — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 18:00:00 -0400

As a born-and-bred snotty child of the metropolitan New York area, I grew up with quite an attitude about certain other regions of our great nation

I'm a Female Comic and I Want My Groupies, Damnit!

Sara Benincasa — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 13:00:00 -0400

In my experience, guy comedy groupies (as opposed to fans) tend to be, well, nonexistent. There is no lady comedy equivalent to the hot, nubile, sexy groupies that some male comics attract.

Please HELP: I Can't Cook and I Have No Idea Where to Start

Sara Benincasa — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 15:30:00 -0500

With your help, I will one day become the ideal Italian-American woman, with big cooking skills to match my huge hair and giant boobs.

Why I Should Be The Next Pope

Sara Benincasa — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 17:00:00 -0500

Remember the foundation of my papal philosophy: God loves everybody, but he loves women and gays the most.

Should I Have Said Something To That Man Who Was Crying In My Coffee Shop Yesterday?

Sara Benincasa — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 13:30:00 -0500

Maybe I could have created an opportunity for us to have a really nice human interaction that would leave us both feeling better afterward.

Happy Anniversary Of Roe V. Wade! Here Are Just A Few Of Your New Anti-Abortion Laws

Sara Benincasa — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 12:30:00 -0500

Let's look at just a few of the 135 new anti-choice laws passed in 30 states over the past two years.

Gifts The Flu Gave Me: 4 Great Things About Being Temporarily Sick

Sara Benincasa — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 17:00:00 -0500

For once, I actually turned off, tuned out, and got quiet.

I Have The Flu And I'm Sitting Next To You

Sara Benincasa — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 15:00:00 -0500

Hi there. I'm the sick person with whom you have the distinct privilege of sharing an airplane. Nice to meet you.

I'll Always Be On Medication (And That's OK)

Sara Benincasa — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 13:30:00 -0500

This depression and anxiety thing isn't temporary. It's not going to disappear when I hit a certain age, or achieve certain career milestones, or get a really great deep-conditioning treatment.

OK, I Admit It, I'm a Hipster

Sara Benincasa — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 12:30:00 -0500

Here, in no particular order, are reasons that I am pretty sure I am the definition of what people mean when they roll their eyes and say, "She's such a fucking HIPSTER."

A Response to the Gentleman on Tumblr Who Recently Asked Me If I'd Ever Pose Nude

Sara Benincasa — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 11:00:00 -0500

I would like to announce to all and sundry media outlets and also my parents that I, Sara Benincasa, am fully prepared to pose naked for photos.

"Oh, You're Still a Little Bit Fat, I Guess": A Holiday Treasury of Offensive Relatives

Sara Benincasa — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 10:00:00 -0500

In celebration of the most panic-attack-heavy, depressing, pull-your-hair-out frustrating time of the year, I thought it necessary to compile a list of the most offensive things folks heard at their Thanksgiving table this year.

Should I Freeze My Eggs?

Sara Benincasa — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 13:00:00 -0500

Should I bank my wee ovum just in case I want to spawn one day? And what exactly does that involve?

I Love My Exes (And Also Their New Girlfriends)

Sara Benincasa — Tue, 09 Oct 2012 12:00:00 -0400

There is nothing so hilarious as the, "Gurl, I totally understand," moments that occasionally happen over margaritas when you're chilling with your ex's new gal.