Michelle Tea - xoJane

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Rescued By Baby Dykes & A Decision

Michelle Tea — Wed, 01 May 2013 12:30:00 -0400

On the drive home, as we just started out from Santa Monica, I announced, “I have two great ideas.”

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: To Quentin Or Not To Quentin?

Michelle Tea — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 12:30:00 -0400

As scary it is to know we don’t have complete control over the creation of our little family, I think it’s a blessing. Really no one has control over their families, or over anything.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Catheter Cervix Torture And Shitty Dads

Michelle Tea — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 13:30:00 -0400

Do I know anyone with a good dad?

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Sperm Donor Debating

Michelle Tea — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:00:00 -0400

Donor kids suffer from a higher rate of depression, addiction and crime, regardless of the economic standing of their family.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: "There Is No Way I'm Fitting Into An XS Ever Again."

Michelle Tea — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 17:00:00 -0400

Smoking is for single people. Now that I found Dashiell, I want to live forever.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: I'm The Best Patient Ever!

Michelle Tea — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 14:30:00 -0500

I am bizarrely proud of myself and immediately want Marina to hang out in the room praising me for nonsense all day. The best patient!

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Medication, Feelings, And Chocolate Benders

Michelle Tea — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 11:30:00 -0500

Maybe I can’t have nice things. A healthy uterus is a nice thing. So is a baby.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Scary Uterus Stuff

Michelle Tea — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 13:30:00 -0500

“We should just get in there and look inside,” she says, agreeing with Dr. Waller. There for sure is something at the top of my uterine cavity, quite possibly a freaking fibroid.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea -- I'm NOT Getting A Hysterectomy

Michelle Tea — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 18:30:00 -0500

You guys -– I KNOW that this whole getting pregnant thing, and hence, this blog, is taking forever.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Dashiell And I Are Embryo Nerds!

Michelle Tea — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 15:30:00 -0500

I’m having one of those happy, delusional moments where I love science so much I wonder if I should finally go to college and study to be a neurophysicist.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: It's Time For Our IVF Orientation

Michelle Tea — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 13:30:00 -0500

This crowd is a bunch of middle-aged heterosexuals tired from their 8 hours at the J.O.B., a little exhausted by their pregnancy fails, a little scared and nervous and hopeful and overwhelmed by what they are about to step into.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: I Can't Have Sex For A Month!

Michelle Tea — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 16:30:00 -0500

It’s frustrating when something is just a fact and you can’t call it out as anti-feminist propaganda.

Rebuilding My Teenaged Record Collection One Album At A Time: Purple Rain

Michelle Tea — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 18:00:00 -0500

I knew that women had sex by putting a penis up in there somewhere, so I figured that’s what Nikki was doing with the magazine -– she’d rolled it up and was, like, doing herself with it.

Rebuilding My Teenaged Record Collection One Album At A Time: Sonic Youth "Sister"

Michelle Tea — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 17:00:00 -0500

It was haunting, the way Kim Gordon murmured. She sounded like she knew everything, you could hear it in her voice. She knew everything but was too bored by it to tell you.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Scrolling Through Sperm Donors

Michelle Tea — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 18:00:00 -0500

Dashiell mostly wants the baby to look like a mini-us, which I understand but I know that my own beauty can be improved upon, and as a mother I just want what’s best for our baby!

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Should Dashiell and I Get ELF SPERM?

Michelle Tea — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 11:30:00 -0500

Does it seem like I am trying to genetically manipulate myself a strikingly beautiful baby? Because I am. Is that creepy or what?

Rebuilding My Teenaged Record Collection One Album at a Time: Minor Threat

Michelle Tea — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 17:12:12 -0500

As a teenaged alcoholic, I would cringe when my mother would say things like, "What, you can’t have fun without alcohol?" Because I couldn’t.

Rebuilding My Teenaged Record Collection One Album at a Time: Gene Loves Jezebel

Michelle Tea — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 18:00:00 -0500

Introducing a new column from Michelle Tea, who is angling for the title of "Column Queen" of xoJane.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Will I become a MOM ARTIST?

Michelle Tea — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 18:00:00 -0500

Because I am a drug addict, I get sort of excited when I get to have a freelapse and legally take a pill. But, because I am a DRUG ADDICT, I forget that taking pills actually is not fun for me anymore.

Getting Pregnant With Michelle Tea: Dashiell Moves In, Rodney Bites a Hippie

Michelle Tea — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 12:30:00 -0500

“I’m not going to press charges,” Candy says, “But a lot of people would. You should know that. Your dog could be put down for this.”