Emily - xoJane

My Hometown Is Moore, Oklahoma And I Don't Know What to Do

Emily — Tue, 21 May 2013 09:30:00 -0400

Half a country away, the town where I grew up was being ravaged and I was literally sitting there drying my nails.

I've Been Chasing the Craigslist Missed Connections Dragon Ever Since I Had One A Few Years Ago

Emily — Mon, 20 May 2013 14:30:00 -0400

I'm sorry I need the love and attention of strangers to fill the emotional void inside me.

20 Beauty and Style Mistakes I Made In My 20s (That I'm Ditching Now That I'm in my 30s)

Emily — Wed, 15 May 2013 15:30:00 -0400

The main thing I notice when I look back over the decade I've just graduated from, it's that I didn't know s@#% about styling myself in an attractive way.

I'm Turning 30 And I'm Having My First Sober Birthday Party Ever (And I'm A Little Scared)

Emily — Thu, 09 May 2013 12:00:00 -0400

I love my birthday because it combines two of my greatest pleasures in life -- dessert and attention.

Open Thread: What Do We Think of Clinique's Summer 2013 Polish Colors?

Emily — Wed, 01 May 2013 16:30:00 -0400

Seriously, I'm just showing you nail polish colors.

I Post Pictures Of Myself In My Underwear, Or Is There Something Inherently Wrong With Seeking Sexual Attention?

Emily — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:00:00 -0400

I DO find sexual attention immensely validating, and that plays into everything from the way I dress to my choice of career.

My LIfe Was Once Devastated by Infidelity and I Still Don't Believe in Blaming the Other Woman

Emily — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 14:00:00 -0400

Jezebel recently published the name and photos of the "woman who broke up Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore." I don't buy that.

Amanda Palmer's Got Nothing on Me: This is the Real Worst Poem Ever From My Freshman Year of College Journal

Emily — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 12:00:00 -0400

It's a feminist poem about my period.

How To Bewitch Someone and Make Them Love You Using Only the Power of the Mix CD

Emily — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 14:30:00 -0400

Once, in the dusty annals of my romantic career, a mix CD fucking moved me.

I Weigh Almost 200 Pounds and The Universe Keeps Trying To Send Me Free Donuts

Emily — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:00:00 -0400

Why you gotta play me like that, universe?!?

YO HR: Is It OK to Ask Your Employees to Give You Manicures?

Emily — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 14:00:00 -0400

Is asking for a manicure the lady-boss equivalent of sending a young female employee to fetch coffee?

My New Addiction is Completely Hating Myself All the Time

Emily — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 15:00:00 -0400

Oh, by the way, this is THE WORST POST I'VE EVER WRITTEN.

OMFG There's A Baby In Your Timeline, Get Over It

Emily — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:00:00 -0400

A friend of mine recently received an anonymous email telling her to "cool it" with the baby pics on Facebook. Who does that?!

Guys Get Friend Zoned, But Do GIrls Get F#$& Zoned?

Emily — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 13:00:00 -0400

AKA the state one enters into when you have sex with a man who might previously have considered you a potential romantic partner but now considers you a casual sexual partner.

I Don't Know Where I Put My Baby's Pajamas, Do I Have A Tumor?

Emily — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 12:00:00 -0400

The older I get, the more extreme my absent-mindedness has become and I'm honestly starting to wonder if something is vaguely WRONG WITH MY BRAIN.

Everything About Me Is Fake Including My Brows -- The 2 Products I'm Into Lately

Emily — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 12:00:00 -0400

PLUS how to get rid of gray hairs in a pinch!

I Don't Care If I Get Hand Cancer, Mama Needs Her Gel Manicures

Emily — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 10:30:00 -0500

Why is everything I love bad for me?

In Defense Of Selfies: Why I'll Never Stop Taking Photos Of Myself

Emily — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 16:05:00 -0500

Most of the time, I post a selfie because I think I look pretty -- today/in this light/in this lipstick/in this outfit.

Everybody Thinks They're Awesome at Sex

Emily — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:00:00 -0500

Spoiler alert: Not everybody is.

Everyone Got SO Mad At Me For Suggesting Penis-in-Vagina Sex Maybe Doesn't Feel That Great

Emily — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 15:30:00 -0500

I rarely hear anyone admitting that the actual sensation of p-in-the-v can be kind of meh.