Annie K - xoJane

xoVain Is Growing And We Want YOU!

Annie K — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 15:30:00 -0400

xoVain is growing, here's how to pitch to us. Also I'm finally trying out one of those peel-off masks.

TOO HOT FOR VAIN! Watch Me Vacuum Away My Ass Cellulite

Annie K — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 13:30:00 -0400

It's a cellulite machine and you kind of see my butt. CAN YOU HANDLE IT? Probably.

Jane's Going to SXSW! Let's Blast Her With Tips

Annie K — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 16:00:00 -0500

First tip: Annie needs to accompany her. There is no other way.

I’m Creating A Monster Breed Of Shower Cockroaches Because I Take So Many Vitamins

Annie K — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 12:00:00 -0500

Only beautiful people pee in the shower.

HOW TO: Pay The Rent By Running Your Own Etsy Shop, Even As You Wonder What You're Doing With Your Life

Annie K — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 15:00:00 -0500

There are shit weeks with no sales at all. Then, you wake up and check your phone to see that some saint in the West Village ordered five gowns last night and paid your entire rent for the month.

How To Look Like a Super-Glamorous Disco Hooker

Annie K — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 09:00:00 -0500

There’s no real inspiration behind this look, but I think the words “disco hooker” do it justice. Take that as you will, but I think it’s super glamorous.

How To Get DSLs In Time For The Holidays

Annie K — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 09:00:00 -0500

And fond adolescent memories of being hit on by an aging rock star.

BABY’S FIRST NAIL ART POST, OH AND I’M TOTALLY DISGUSTING

Annie K — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:30:00 -0500

For the sake of elegance and class, I bought a $5.99 value pack of plastic fake nails so that I could get into the nail art game and keep going with this beauty writer charade.

I Went to NYC and Raided the xoBeauty Closet and Some Kid With Braces Asked Me to Sit on His Face

Annie K — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 10:00:00 -0500

The first order of business at the staff meeting that day was Corynne asking the other xoJaners to please not say, “Cunt, pussy, or vagina,” loudly in the office anymore. HR was getting involved.

SHAMPOOING: YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO, WATCH ME SHOWER.

Annie K — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 10:00:00 -0400

And a cautionary tale about self-inflicted teenage stoner brain damage.

Get That Sexy Comic Look: Technicolor Makeup As Inspired by Jonny Negron

Annie K — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 09:00:00 -0400

Technicolor makeup’s some tricky shit. But the only Crayola-faced women that I truly look up to are the slutty cartoon characters drawn by my friend, Jonny Negron.

WHAT'S IN YOUR MAKEUP BAG?: Dee Dee Penny of the Dum Dum Girls

Annie K — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 16:30:00 -0400

This was my first “real” interview, so I had butterflies in my stomach and my mushy brain worms were moving a mile a minute.

So You Wanna Look Attractive in Pictures, Huh?

Annie K — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 13:30:00 -0400

Seven suggestions to help you look completely opposite from how I did at prom.

Beauty Solutions for Bad Travelers: Emergen-C Edition

Annie K — Mon, 01 Oct 2012 17:00:00 -0400

Suddenly I had a vision of my roommate Abby’s face floating above my left shoulder, “You can totally use Emergen-C as a scrub,” it whispered, just as she had done when I moved in and our pantries became one.

Look Like A Sexy Sixties Italian Cowgirl Ala Spaghetti Westerns, Moschino

Annie K — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 12:00:00 -0400

This entire article was written so that I could have a reason to make spaghetti and meatballs.

I Just Ugly-Cried for Two Hours and My Makeup Still Looks Good

Annie K — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:00:00 -0400

I cried and snotted and rubbed the wet goo all over my face for hours and I still look good, y’all!

How To Cover Your FREAKING VAGINA TATTOO (and DIY Vajazzle)

Annie K — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 13:30:21 -0400

I'll Try Anything Once: HUGE, Like REALLY HUGE, Hair

Annie K — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 12:30:19 -0400

Does this hair make my ass look small?