Allan Mott - xoJane

My Mother Is Gone and I’m Trying to Figure Out Why I Feel Fine

Allan Mott — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 17:00:00 -0500

People ask me how I’m doing, and when I say, “I’m fine,” they nod, assuming I’m holding something back for their benefit. But I’m not. I am fine. I am good. I am all right.

Notes From A (Once) Reluctant Cat Owner

Allan Mott — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:00:00 -0500

He doesn’t adore me, unconditionally or otherwise, but that hasn’t stopped me from developing feelings for him. Feelings I’ve never felt for a cat before.

How to (Unsuccessfully) Deal With a Workplace Bully

Allan Mott — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 17:00:00 -0500

Every day people go in to work at jobs they can’t afford to quit with co-workers who make a genuine effort to bully and humiliate them. Too often, fighting back isn’t an option, and even if it is, it’s not guaranteed to make a difference.

I Was Raised By Stealth Feminists

Allan Mott — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 14:00:00 -0500

Neither of my parents would have ever called themselves feminists. But given the choice between action and words, action is the one to pick.

How The “Cult of xoJane” Helped Get Me Through The Worst Days of My Life

Allan Mott — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 13:30:00 -0500

I didn’t know it yet, but by the time I sent that tweet, my mom had already been dead for nine minutes.

My Balls Don't Make Me A Bad-Ass (They Mostly Just Sit There)

Allan Mott — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 17:00:00 -0500

During the rare times in my life when I have done something brave, potentially dangerous or just plain awesome, I’ve never looked down at them and offered up a grateful “Thanks guys!”

Leave Me Alone, I'm Not Lonely

Allan Mott — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 15:00:00 -0400

If everyone on the planet were as innately fuckable as Jordan Catalano, the over-population crisis caused by all the 24/7 boning would have robbed the planet of its resources centuries ago.

My Life as a Reluctant Loan Shark

Allan Mott — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 13:00:00 -0400

People would break down in front of me and tearfully explain all the reasons why a good person would risk their job and willfully ignore company policy (and maybe even break the law) in order to help them out just this one time.

Not a Robot: Confessions of a Man Who Cries

Allan Mott — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 14:00:23 -0400

No bullshit people, I was crying harder than I even thought I knew how.

I, Brony? The Unexpected Brilliance of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic"

Allan Mott — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 17:00:19 -0400

Like many folks out there who avoid sites like 4chan as if they’re a Big Momma & Medea team up movie specifically designed by evil Hollywood scientists to give you syphilis, I first heard reports of a growing cult of adult “My Little Pony” enthusiasts about a year ago.

Spiderman, Wonder Woman, and Other Gender-Inappropriate Childhood Heroes

Allan Mott — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 17:00:22 -0400

When I was six, I told my mom that I wanted to decorate my room with a superhero poster. But when the one she came home with was Wonder Woman, I wept and begged her to take it back.

Why This Ad Guy Isn't Impressed With "Boobvertising"

Allan Mott — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 12:22:08 -0400

In my experience, the only thing boobs make you want to buy are more boobs.

I Like the “Friend Zone”

Allan Mott — Thu, 17 May 2012 16:00:32 -0400

Nobody wants to be in the “Friend Zone,” where you can’t get your freak on and girls do terrible things like be themselves with you or (EVEN WORSE!) share their pink, heart-dotted-i, cootie-covered girly girl feelings.

I'm a Guy Who Loves Romantic Comedies

Allan Mott — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 14:00:32 -0400

I try to avoid throwing out accusations of “misogyny,” but it is hard for me not to think that the reason so many male viewers seem to object so strongly to these films is because they’re the rare example where they are expected to spend the entire length of the movie identifying with a female protagonist.

Why I'm Not a Strip Club Dude

Allan Mott — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 11:00:51 -0400

A part of me wishes I could sometimes just turn my brain off and enjoy the things that bring other people pleasure. Taking the opportunity to stare at naked women shouldn’t be this complicated.

I Am Not a Hipster! (I Just Look, Sound and Act Like One)

Allan Mott — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 11:00:19 -0500

Over the past couple of years, few people in this world have become more acceptably derided and despised than those accused of hipster-dom.

It Happened to Me: I’m Always the Token Dude

Allan Mott — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:00:20 -0500

Since I was 11, I have become accustomed to situations where I’ve been the sole possessor of a Y chromosome.

It Happened to Me: I'm a Short Guy

Allan Mott — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:00:11 -0500

I have found that many of the cultural inequities we traditionally assume are gender-based might have just as much to do with size as the seemingly inexcusable lack of a penis.

It Happened To Me: I Worked Graveyard at a Sex Store

Allan Mott — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 11:00:08 -0500

As strange as it was working a job where 95 percent of the transactions I performed could be honestly concluded with a polite, “Have a nice self-induced orgasm!” I quickly came to realize that the average customer wasn’t a gross, disgusting pervert, but just a normal, lonely dude.