YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: Why Can't I Get Close To My Co-Workers?

Should I just resign myself to being a 9-5 loner?

Oct 9, 2013 at 6:30pm | Leave a comment

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I recently (2 months ago) started a new job. It’s a nice work environment, and I like the people I work with overall. My problem is that they are all pretty close with one another, like going to lunch every day, hanging out on weekends, etc., and sometimes it makes me feel like a real outsider. Sometimes I go to lunch with them, but sometimes I bring my lunch and other times, like today, I plan to go out but they just don’t ask me. They all chat and joke with each other at work, and I just don’t know how to include myself. I’m naturally a pretty shy person, and I’m bad at social situations in general, which doesn’t help. I don’t need to have work be my primary source of friendships—I recognize that maybe it’s better that it not be—but it’s really kind of a bummer to feel consistently left out and wondering if my coworkers like me. I think they were all pretty tight with my predecessor, so it’s not just that they’re only into hanging out with each other. How can I become more a part of the social fabric in my office without being overbearing or awkward? Or should I just resign myself to being a 9-5 loner? Any ideas/tips appreciated!


Alright, commenters can you help this friend out? Let her know in the comments what you would do to get on the good side of some seemingly frigid co-workers. 

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