YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: My Husband Always Smells Bad

It may be funny with his friends but it is turning me way, way off. Really.

Mar 6, 2014 at 6:30pm | Leave a comment


My husband and I have been married for more than 10 years and have two rambunctious children, so we are at the stage where there’s not a whole lot of regular sex going on.  He is extremely fit and his body is so amazing, and I am still attracted to him, but my libido is quickly put into check every evening because he REEKS. He farts continually after getting home from work and all night under the covers.  The smell is like road kill wrapped up in a rotten cabbage and the sheer density of the stench is enough to wake me up at night and permeate our sheets in the morning.  Plus, he has rotten breath almost always.  He uses a Sonicare but not for the full two minutes and I don’t think he’s thoroughly brushing out all the stank with water.  His teeth are somewhat crooked (which can sometimes contribute to bad breath) and he almost never flosses.  He thinks it’s funny when I complain, but I am seriously so grossed out that I don’t want to sleep in the bed with him, much less have any kind of sexytimes.  Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, but I just don’t want to stand for this anymore; I VALUE MY SLEEP.  He blames the smell on all the supplements he takes.  When we drive around on the weekends, he farts in the car and waits until I am gagging and furious instead of saying, “Whoops!  Open your window,” so I don’t have to inhale these horrible anal gases.  I just cannot. It may be funny with his friends but it is turning me way, way off. Really.  Can you help me?

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