For a long time now, I've been a fat-accepting fat person. (shout out to Lesley and Marianne from xoJane, whose blogs I was reading all the time, among others, to get to that place). Very long story short, today my mom suggested that I consider gastric bypass and I had to fight back tears as soon as she mentioned it. My mom's been pretty good about not giving me flack about my weight since I was in college, but in the past week or so she's mentioned it a couple of times. If it's relevant, I'm a size 26/28 depending on the clothes and weigh over 320 lbs. I'm also confident, creative and can totally pull off blue-black hair, so whatever. I want that other stuff to be as relevant as my weight when it comes to people describing me, but a fat person is the first thing they see when I'm strutting down the street.
BUT, I'm weirdly (or not so weirdly) embarrassed to admit this, but I HAVE considered the surgery. I know that there are a bunch of potential side effects, but in the back of my mind I wonder secretly what it'd be like to be thin, or whether losing a lot of weight would solve or at least lessen my chronic pain issues (I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last week after having symptoms for several years; now I'm taking Lyrica, and I know a couple of people who've said they gained a lot of weight when taking it).
What should I do? Should I start emailing my mom articles about fat acceptance? She's been "on a diet" on and off for like 6 years.Talk to my doctor about bariatric surgery at my appointment next week? It goes against a lot of my values but could it really help me? Make a list of pros and cons? Forget about it?
Should she get the surgery? Or do you think her mother is clouding her judgement? Let her know your thoughts in the comments.
Send all of your questions to Advice@xoJane.com, please.