YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: My Friend Talks Too Much

How do I tell her that she talks too much and her loud trash talk is unacceptable behavior.

Feb 3, 2014 at 6:30pm | Leave a comment

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I'm in a pickle and it's making me turn towards self loathing, which is something I try to avoid since everything else out there is already set up to make me feel inferior- like make up ads, weight loss ads and tiger moms. Here's the deal, I have a friend that is new in town. She is going on 10 months in our city and while she has branched out, I am the main go to. Which I don't really mind, she is good people. She means well. She is someone who would have my back, although, not in a bar fight type of way, more like i'll help you exact a slow revenge on someone kind of way. But, she talks too much. Her conversations are very one sided and repetitive and she doesn't let me get too much of a word in edge wise. If I do get to contribute to her diatribe, I can tell by her face that her thoughts are going a million miles an hour and she is just waiting until I am done to spout like a garden hose that was just relieved of a kink. 
Even worse, is that she seems to take notice of my non verbal queues and then calls me out on them, "Sorry for gabbing your ear off", or "God, I am just jabbering, I must be driving you crazy." But, then she continues for another 30 min to an hour before I find a way to leave. My go to tactic is playing dead, I just go numb as she continues talking, but I feel terrible about it. Especially since she knows that I am losing my patience. The other behavioral issue I have with her is that she makes snide comments about people loud enough to where they can hear her. I just dead pan my face and pretend that I didn't hear her and then she repeats it and asks if I can hear her, then she asks if I am annoying her. I never know what to say. If I say, Yes, then I am the asshole and it's an awkward drive home. If I say No, she will think it's cool to keep it up. So I just act disinterested and I think that fuels her anxiety and so she spins her wheels in an undesirable direction. 
Help! How do I tell her that she talks too much and her loud trash talk is unacceptable behavior. 
Posted in Relationships