YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: Should I Tell My Next Boyfriend About My Cheating Past?

Should one disclose past cheating to a new boyfriend?
xoJane Advice Column
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Should one disclose past cheating to a new boyfriend?


I am an 18 year old girl in my senior year, and earlier in high school I cheated on my long term boyfriend, who found out by going through my Facebook while I was in the bathroom the next day. We stayed together but broke up a few months later. I really regret this and I would absolutely never do it again, though I have after some time and therapy forgiven myself and come to understand that although I am ultimately responsible for my actions, I was in a very unhealthy, manipulative and emotionally abusive relationship. This relationship made me feel very unworthy and when validation was offered in the form of another guy, I slipped up.

I have accepted that despite the circumstances and my struggle with depression and anxiety at the time what I did was wrong, and forgiven myself. Do I have an obligation to disclose this to a future boyfriend? I don't feel like I should, as I have moved on from that negative stage in my life and do not believe I would do this again, but my ex thinks I should. He is making me feel very guilty for not telling my female friends, constantly asking for a list of all the people I have told (I have told no one, a few of his friends know), and has made veiled threats about telling any future boyfriends. 

He has now blocked me on Facebook for unspecified reasons so the messages have stopped but I am left wondering. What do you think xoJane, should one disclose past cheating to a new boyfriend? And if so, at what point in the relationship?

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