The Great Online Dating Debate: Am I a Super Selective Bitch?

I might be kind of bitchy. And maybe that's why I'm single?

Feb 13, 2013 at 10:00am | Leave a comment

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Don't let these big, bright doe eyes fool you--she bites.

I said I'd give this project six full months, and as I near the finish line, I'm starting to realize that the end is going to be quite bittersweet. On one hand, I'm having so much fun. (And thankfully, I have yet to experience a disgustingly rude, hateful message.) On the other, this has to be the most tedious assignment I've ever taken on; I'm not sure if I'd ever want to date online again. Why? 

1) Because maybe I'm kind of a bitch. (And maybe that's why I'm single.)

I got a wink from a guy on Match.com who's pretty much my ideal mate at first glance. Very handsome, a few years older, never married, no kids, fantastic career, blah, blah, blah. After his initial wink, I returned the wink and patiently awaited his intro message, which came 24 hours later.

"Thanks for the wink... What brings you to Match?"

This, my dear friends, is the message equivalent of a teeny-tiny flaccid penis on a man with huge hands. I couldn't have been more let down if I tried. Not only did he send me a super short inquiry, he also asked an utterly idiotic question. My response?

"Hi. Online dating brings me to Match -- I assume you're here for the same reason?"

Since then, complete radio silence. What did he expect? A full-blown run-down of my past relationships and single life? As if. But seriously, was my pseudo-bitchy response wrong? Should I have given him more? Been a little nicer? (I'm just not a fan of coddling simplicity.)

2) What's with the multiple visits to my profile?!

I'll admit, I check my views/visitors page daily, just to see who's been scoping me so that I can see if they're worth a return scope. Often I see the same men have been to my page, and it has to be intentional. Mostly because I have a very distinct main image and screen name on both of my profiles -- you can't possibly forget either. You'd know automatically if you've been to my profile before.

Also, why? Clearly you find something interesting. Why not just say something? Though I guess the below should be taken into consideration.

3) Apparently I'm "Very Selective" (not sure if that's good or bad, though!)

For those of you who aren't familiar with the OKC landscape, it alerts you to the likelihood of which your potential matches will respond. There's "Replies Often" (which is displayed in green for go ahead, give it go, what have you got to lose); "Replies Selectively" (displayed in yellow for proceed with caution, don't get your hopes up); and "Replies Very Selectively" (displayed in red, for obvious reasons).

My profile falls in the latter category, which got me to thinking... Are some men not even bothering with messaging me because they automatically assume I won't respond? I mean, I thoroughly enjoy the connotation that comes along with the "very selective" label, but is it hurting me by hindering my chance at finding a mate?

With that said, would I even want to seriously date a guy who's initially intimidated? I like men who are cool and confident; I re-fucking-fuse to waste a second of my time ego-stroking and affirming one's manhood, just so he'll feel like he measures up. No sale, no deal, no dice. (Not my chair, not my problem, I always say.)

Catch this snippy single girl on Twitter: @IndiaJewelJax.