A couple months ago a guy I really liked broke my heart. I don’t usually dwell on things, but this one was a doozy. You know when you’ve been rejected and you deny it. Your logical self is like, “Girl, I hate to break it to you, but it’s over,” but the Drake part of you keeps holding out hope.
You know you should be over it. But you’re like “Nooo, it’s not over.” You turn down dates with nice guys, get super busy with work, and do a lot of bargaining with a higher power. Yeah, that was definitely me.
And then I listened to Rick Ross. The fact that a 300-pound rapper with sexist tracks and slow lyrical delivery could put rejection in perspective for me sounds a little crazy, but listen to any Rick Ross song and it’s hard not to feel like a frickin' boss. If anyone should be rejected it’s him. The man is far from conventionally handsome, and still manages to pocket millions of dollars a year.
Rick Ross is successful because of his flaws, not in spite of them and maybe there’s something to that. Rejection isn’t the end of the world. In fact, if we learn to filter rejection through our Rick-Ross-colored glasses, we’ll be able to handle it with style. Here are a few ways to channel your inner boss and overcome rejection.
It’s Okay To Miss Your Maybach
I hate it when you’ve just been dumped and someone has the nerve to say, “Aw don’t be sad. You’ll be okay, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.” I mean it’s basically like saying oh don’t worry about that Maybach you just wrecked, there are plenty of other cars at the dealership. One, Maybachs have officially been discontinued, so there’s that, and two, it’s not exactly easy to go through the process of getting another car.
Next time someone gives you that fishing line, you go ahead and give them your biggest Rick Ross grunt and walk away. It’s okay to be sad. You should absolutely grieve your Maybach. Now when I say grieve your Maybach, I’m not advocating that you give up on life, but I am saying that it’s important not to ignore your sadness. When things first ended between me and the luxury car, I jumped right into work and projects. I pushed away feeling sad thinking that everything would run its course if I ignored it long enough.
The only problem was I kept having this nagging shoulder pain that got worse by the day. It was super weird and only started after things ended between us. I tried getting a massage and that didn’t help. I tried shoulder exercises and that didn’t work either. It was driving me absolutely nuts to the point that all I could do was cry. So I did. I cried and cried and cried some more. And then I realized, I wasn’t crying because my shoulders hurt. I was crying because I hadn’t allowed myself to cry over losing the Maybach.
There’s this yogic theory that our body is made up of energy, or chakras, and that if a chakra is imbalanced/blocked it’ll cause physical pain in whatever area needs balancing. Well, sure enough, shoulder pain is linked to the heart chakra, the center of love, compassion, feelings, and emotion. By ignoring the loss of the Maybach I wasn’t really ignoring it, I was just continuing to store some luxury-sized pain in my shoulders. It was only when I allowed myself to cry and feel sad that my shoulders began to feel better again.
If you’ve recently faced rejection go ahead and cry. Let it out. Be sad, but don’t attach your sense of self to the pain. Once you’ve let out a good cry, learn to appreciate the Maybach for what it allowed you to experience. Maybachs are really nice, but losing one shouldn’t cause you to forget about the Aston Martin areas of your life.
Pull The Two Seater Out For Your Insecurities
In the words of Mr. Ross, “Who ever thought that fat girl would grow into Oprah, or that boy Rick Ross will be moldin’ the culture.” People love Oprah and Rick Ross for their realness. I mean for goodness sake, the man is known to take his shirt off during performances. He literally lets it all hang out. When faced with the reality of rejection it’s easy to start picking on yourself. Maybe if I were prettier, smarter, skinnier, fill-in-the-blank, but if Rick Ross can let his stuff hang, maybe we should do the same.
Everyone has insecurities, but not everyone uses them like a boss. Before becoming a rapper, Rick Ross was a corrections officer and even played football in college. In both cases, being on the bigger side was beneficial. Rick Ross managed to pull the two seater out on his weight and use it to his advantage. Perhaps being rejected is an opportunity to do the same. You won’t always know the reasons why you were rejected, but even if you did, would it really matter? It shouldn’t.
For every person who hates your laugh, there are ten people that love it. Instead of putting your insecurities in the trunk, put them in the passengers seat and take them for a ride. Learn to see your insecurities as your best traits and reframe rejection as an opportunity to boost your confidence in these areas. Most empowering stories have rocky beginnings. Everyone is going through stuff and that stuff may have absolutely nothing to do with you. Treat yourself with the same compassion you give others. Doing so will cause the right people to gravitate towards you.
Hustle for Happiness
There are absolutely going to be days when you don’t want to get out of bed and those are the days you’ll probably just express gratitude for the bed. When you’re down, it’s essential to hustle for happiness and that means learning to love up on the little things. That could be as simple as appreciating that double shot of espresso you downed because you were up all night ruminating. Or that friend who dragged you to happy hour and made you sing karaoke.
Find things and people that love you. Hustle hard for happy moments. At first it’ll feel painful. You’ll resent the fact that you have to work so hard to feel better but in the words of Rick Ross, you gotta push it to the limit if you wanna be paid.
Rejection definitely sucks, but the fast track to feeling better lies in your attitude. So put your shades on and rock it like a Booosssss! At the very least listen to Rick Ross.