What do you do when kids suddenly got in the way of your marriage? One YourTango writer knows all the excuses you might give for not wanting to spend time with your significant other, plus and how to break out of them.
I hear it often. "Before we had kids, we used to _____ all the time." Couples typically fill in the blank with something really fun that they used to do together, such as having lots of sex, adventures, great conversations, or laughing a lot. As a relationship therapist, I ask distressed couples who are in my office, "Why did you stop?"
Now, I've raised two kids with my husband, and truly understand the intense demands, emotions, drives, and stresses that go along with the job. But those don't have to mean putting your marriage on the back burner. Because, besides being fun, those activities bond couples together and feed the marriage. We all feel happier and healthier when we know that we are loved, enjoyed, seen, and appreciated by our life partners. And guess what? Parents loving each other and being happy in their relationship spills over onto the kids, and nourishes them, at least as much as making sure they attend every dance class, baseball practice and birthday party.
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