Me practising astrology with my Alpine horn section
AriesVenus canoodles in the House of RomanceIn other words: your finances are in a sorry state at the moment, but you’re so distracted with all that bedroom action you’ve been getting, you’ve barely noticed!
TaurusThe Goddess of Love plays close to homeIn other words: even if you’re queen of vanilla shagging, this week you’ll be upping the ante like no-one’s business. Bondage anyone?
GeminiMercury’s sweet nothings hit the markIn other words: this is the time to get your career on track, even if your ideas are somewhat…fanciful (polite speak for totally mental).
CancerVenus insists on tough love at homeIn other words: if you want to actually make some progress on the home front you’re going to have to square up to all the big problems you’ve been avoiding. Sorry – there’s no way around it.
LeoYour ruling Sun gets luckyIn other words: at the moment you’re busy trying to get all those boring tasks out of the way so you can have some fun. You also look set for a stroke of luck, so buy that lottery ticket now!
VirgoHigh Jinks Jupiter won’t be resistedIn other words: you’re not one of life’s risk takers, but this is the week for abandoning your methodical approach to life and seeing what happens. Terrified?
LibraAffable Venus makes you even more popularIn other words: you just want to kick back and relax, but no such luck my friend – everyone else wants you to be in charge, so you’re going to have to put any plans to chill out on hold.
ScorpioYour Rulers Mars and Pluto get into the grooveIn other words: lack of enthusiasm has never been your problem - you can definitely do anything you set your mind to, even if you’re feeling a bit blah this week.
SagittariusYour Jupiter ruler is in the mood to expandIn other words: you don’t need to be told twice to take a risk. Make sure you swot up on the small print first, but this could be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for…
CapricornVenus and Saturn have commitment in mindIn other words: keep you’re eyes open and you’ll realise that someone is watching your every move – and certainly approves of whatever it is that you’re doing…
AquariusVenus smoothes the edge in all your dealingsIn other words: you may have been accused of being a little smarmy in the past, but whatever it is you’re doing it’s working. IN THE SACK.
Pisces Mercury and Neptune weave relationship magic In other words: a conversation you’ll have this week will leave you on cloud nine, but stop and have a think about what’s been said – read between the lines.