I Used To Be One of Those Spiritual Assholes

How I stopped punishing myself and became your New-Agey editor.

May 17, 2011 at 1:02pm | Leave a comment

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I have a lot of things going for me that read like your typical lesbian OK Cupid profile: sensitive, likes to cuddle, has a dog, is spiritual. I grew up with a mother who believed in herbs and food as medicine, and an energy healer uncle who taught me about self-fulfilling prophecy, crystal healing, Atlantis, and connection to Source/God/One by age 12.

By the time I was in high school we were discussing interdimensional travel, channeling, and life (and past life) in other star systems as dinner conversation.

That said, cultivating a sense of spirituality doesn’t mean you can’t still be a real c-u-n-t. Which plenty of “New Age” people are, using their super psychic/healing powers as a crowbar into someone’s emotional security, or insulating their egos with a sense of “higher purpose,” or absolving themselves of responsibility with “this is what the universe wants” or “what will be will be.”

I used to be one of these spiritual assholes who used my oversoul -- the pathway from birth to death that many believe the soul decided on before entering a body in order to learn specific lessons -- as a scapegoat for the mean, destructive, selfish, animal stuff I used to do.

Somewhere along the way, I turned a corner and stopped being such a crazy bitch. Hate to sound like Santana on "Glee" (oh yes, I watch "Glee," too bad) but I think I stopped being mean when I decided to come out as a full-blown lesbian.

That was four years ago, and I had to move away from everyone and everything familiar  (I chose Las Vegas to do this) and really "go inside myself" as they say. Wow, what a difference it makes when you decide to stop using sex with a specific gender as a way of punishing yourself.

So on top of hearing from me about various ways in which we can thrive and heal and grow using various earth and animal and seemingly intangible energies and tools, I’ll also be sprinkling in some gay stuff.

If you have questions about anything “New Age,” hit me up at liz@janepratt.com, and know I'm not going to hippie-wash you. (By the way, the term "new age" refers to the coming shift of our planet’s northern zenith gyrations from astrological positioning in Pisces to Aquarius; many people think it’s happening now, and that the term “new age” is no longer relevant, because it is in fact the present age.) Also, if you’re dying to know anything about being a homo, I may have some help for you. That I am a voice of reason on here lets you know what kind of awesome, wild gals we’re dealing with on XOJane.