acrylic nails
I love poor, much-maligned false nails. Just like I love unflattering shades of lipstick, going braless, and talking loudly about bikini waxes in the workplace. Because I like attention, and I like to be a bit tasteless. What? It’s funny. Lighten up.
manicures
Because honestly, if I'm going to get a manicure, I want to get a freaking manicure, you know?