Going for a walk with my mom is not a chore or an obligation; it’s a choice. I can take in the trees, the water, the pavement and the empty space. I can turn to my mom and share that with her.
I deal with the blame and shame on a daily basis. I wake up with it and go to sleep with it.

Aug 8, 2014 at 1:00pm | 301 comments

Forgiveness doesn't mean I have to remain in a relationship with her and allow her to keep hurting me.
One woman brought me a coloring book full of vaginas, of all shapes and sizes; resplendent in their diversity.
I made the decision to cut off all contact with my mother.
you are the advice columnist
I would get a boyfriend, and she would say, simply by eyeing the dude’s Facebook page, “He’s not right for you.”
In an effort to help my fellow single mothers out, I decided to come up with a list of all the wonderful things that would make everyday life a thousand times easier. Here are they are, in no particular order.
elizabeth street
I thought I found a place to feel like a good mom, but boy, was I wrong.
parenting challenges
As a parent, how do you stand idly by as your child falters, when all you want to do is set them up for success? How (when, where?) do you draw the line?
No matter what I do, or how mindful I am about my eating and exercise habits (without pushing myself into unhealthy habits), the numbers keep crawling upward.

Sep 2, 2013 at 3:00pm | 396 comments

I see her slowing a bit, looking less motherly and more matronly, and I realize mother and mortality are not terms I’ve ever truly considered together.

Jun 27, 2013 at 12:30pm | 70 comments

ihtm contest
MySpace was the social media site of the time, and I thought maybe she had one. I began one evening to look for all the 16-year-old Nicoles in a 50 mile radius of where I was from
ihtm contest
She killed herself in 2008, but I think she would have done it a lot sooner, were it not for her unabashed love for me.
Seeing my mother struggle with parenthood makes me wonder if history will repeat itself.
ihtm contest
My story is about what I went through, trying and failing to protect her and the tragic inaction by police, social workers and the family court system that created a nightmare I never thought we’d escape.
I would never know my mother. What I mean is I would never really know her as I would if she had lived and grayed and grew to view me as an equal.
I remember how violated I felt as a teenager when I found out that my mother read my diary. There are some things that should be sacred, that are better off left alone.

Dec 26, 2012 at 1:30pm | 169 comments

When my ex and I split, I wasn’t quite sure how co-parenting our son was going to work out.
I can honestly say that I’ve never wished that I’d been born a different race. It was only the illusive magic of beauty I wanted, beauty like my mother proudly possessed, the kind of physical aesthetic that transcended and bewitched.
I would know, since I'm definitely not my mother's.