childhood crushes
After school, I’d get my bike and cycle by the mansion where Pat lived. The road turned into a hill right before his house and I’d pump and sweat my way past, praying he didn’t see me, praying he did.
vaginas
If a dude wants to tell me my vagina is repulsive, that's awesome, but he should be warned, I have sharp teeth, lock-jaw and passion for angry blow-jobs.
teachers
Mr. Miller didn’t like me. I’d raise my hand and he’d roll his eyes. I’d write out homework on the board and he heckled me in a way only the 12-year-olds in the room could appreciate.
in

Jan 8, 2013 at 11:30am | 257 comments

gym class
If you've had a mini-orgasm while, say, on the sit-up machine, science says you're not the only one.
bullying
The stuff middle school kids say is a thousand times worse than the worst things I hear adults utter even in the darkest rage. Kids of that age seem to have a unique imagination for language and its ability to cause misery.