movie posters
I wish I knew the thought process that went into these posters, but they’re a special kind of baffling.
You will not get through this list without getting pissed off at least once.

Jun 6, 2014 at 12:30pm | 404 comments

But we're glad they're not because now there's a chance we'll have sex with them.
thought catalog
It’s a highly sensitive topic for us, and one that’s taking a lot of effort to work through.
christmas music
I've been known to shout "Nooooooooooo!" after starting a car and having the radio greet me with a late-'90s boy-band rendition of an age-old Christmas carol I didn't like in the first place.
It would have been 10 things, but I had rainbows to climb and fluffy clouds to frolic upon.
Other items that perk me up include ice coffee the size of my head, and all of the cookies that there are.
These items are all things I have used, loved and covet. Consider yourself enabled.
I almost included your gyno appointment, but I feel like some dudes would be real into that.

May 29, 2013 at 5:00pm | 54 comments

I'd stick to the pot-for-thinness diet myself, if I didn't becomes insanely concerned about the reality of my own death every time a pipe was in my general area.

May 21, 2013 at 10:30am | 176 comments

getting organized
In which the following is discussed: murder, the mental anguish of my future children, AND CRISCO.

May 6, 2013 at 11:00am | 89 comments

panic attacks
Panic attacks aren't fun. But they can be funny.

Apr 17, 2013 at 2:00pm | 119 comments

Although I have it on good authority that pies do not solve everything, I for one have a very seriously challenging time believing it.

Mar 26, 2013 at 10:00am | 182 comments

flawless skin
Books, boots, pretty things to look at -- my tastes are always so predictable.
To hell with moving “upstate” and starting “bed and breakfast.” I was moving to Alaska and starting a hotel. Later on in the day, when I read about those Shetland ponies wearing sweaters, it became absolutely clear that they had to be hired to work in the hotel. Don’t worry - we will make sure they are wearing adequately insulated parkas.

Feb 7, 2013 at 11:30am | 18 comments

angry feminist
Do you support the idea of objectifying dudes to prove a point about the evils of objectification?
Big purses exist because we lead big lives, rife with potential for disaster. I want to face that life prepared.

Jan 22, 2013 at 4:00pm | 128 comments

Blondes don’t lead naturally charmed lives. Oh sure, we got no ish standing over a subway grate and giggling as our skirts rise, but our souls are dark, our pasts tortured, and our ideologies seriously borked.
As we've all been there once or twice or three times, can we at least laugh about it? Maybe a weird, sad laugh, like, "HA! Ha... haaaaaa."