And no you cannot post “How not to be a Dick to your White Friend,” cause Nobody FUCKING CARES.
race
how not to be a dick
Come on, it wouldn't be xoJane if someone didn't write this one up.
how not to be a dick
Just because I am Jewish does not mean I have this insane craving for bagels all the time. It’s not like I am a bagel-vampire and to live I must have blood-enhanced bagels or I will start killing townspeople.
how not to be a dick
Guess what? I don't want to be younger. Surprise!
pets
My dad is fond of saying “Not all pet owners are crazy, but all crazy people have pets.” Truer words never spoken.
short
Sometimes it’s hard to be taken seriously when you’re a child-sized adult.
healthy
Denying that your friends' illnesses are real -- or implying that they can be fixed by happy thoughts -- is unlikely to inspire them; instead, it will probably just piss them off.
parents
Don't start speaking in hushed tones about beach bonfires and boozy cabin camping trips. I'm not YOUR parent.
how not to be a dick
I’ve bunked with self proclaimed sex addicts, shared a dorm room with a hoarder, and put up with all manners of bull-shiggity in the name of cheap rent in the big city.
bars
Oh, hey there! It’s me, your friendly neighborhood bartendress, rolling out of bed at noon to give you a few pointers on how not to be like the bachelorette who barfed into my ice bin last night.
how not to be a dick
When you tell someone with depression that they should maybe try harder to be happy, it's essentially like telling a diabetic that they could totally make an adequate amount of insulin if they just concentrated a little harder.
how not to be a dick
A comment thread is over when names are called, especially if anyone brings up the Nazis.
how not to be a dick
If I want to bottle up my feelings, for the love of god, let me bottle them up.
unemployment
I spend most of my time trying to find a job. I would really prefer if we spent this social time discussing something else.
how not to be a dick
There’s no need for you to speak more loudly and slowly, enunciate more, or mime things when you’re speaking to me
laser hair removal
Be nice to me. I deal with assholes all day. Literally.
dating
I am not some census-taking dick measurer, OK?
little people
The most daunting challenge I face as a little person is navigating through people’s blatant disregard for my personal space and arbitrary offensive questions.
bisexuality
I have fielded every question in the book, from those who were genuinely filled with innocent curiosity to those who thought asking me to describe my sexual habits was a smooth way to get me into bed.
divorce
My name is Demetria and I’m getting a divorce.
how not to be a dick
I don't have a ton of control over what my body does, but you have 100% control over being a shitty, judgmental human being.
infertility
Fostering is completely different than adoption, which is completely different than pregnancy. All are wonderful, but different. Remember that.
