zombie apocalypse
As it turns out, this amendment is less about actual zombies and more about people wandering around with concealed firearms during hurricanes.
rape
When I was raped by a member of a popular fraternity 14 years ago, the sorority sisters I told were upset with me for reporting it because they were concerned about the potential backlash. Imagine if he'd been on the football team.
florida
F#%k snow. I’ll prop up my iPad and put on an animated snowy screensaver, and that will do fine.
attractions
Sure, I could just find a hiking trail somewhere. But there aren't any dinosaurs on the hiking trails around here. Just saying.