toilet paper
Oh, you don't want to break up with someone when he butters his bread without breaking it first? Your life must be so much better than mine, but WHATEVER, gloating isn't ladylike, so shove it.
When I saw my colleague pull a random strand out of a salad at work and exclaim, “Oh, cat hair,” I figured she really doesn't want any more visitors.

Sep 3, 2014 at 12:00pm | 533 comments

Three flights in eight days have been diverted because of passenger battles over reclining seats. Because flying is normally such a pleasant and relaxing experience?

Sep 4, 2014 at 9:00am | 523 comments

I didn't mind living in rural Tennessee until I had two black children.
clutch magazine
I offer rules for non-Black people to engage Black women without causing offense. If you can manage NOT to do the following, you can probably come across as a decent human being.
"I don't like this guy," I told a girlfriend of mine after she finally had sex with a guy she was dating -- and he proceeded not to contact her within 72 hours.
There’s nothing cute about desperately clinging to the finer nits of adverb use and misuse, and there’s nothing noble about publicly shaming people for grammatical gaffes and typos.

Mar 11, 2013 at 4:00pm | 377 comments

Tattoo shops can be intimidating places. Even as a grown adult, there's a part of me who still assumes everyone who works there is like rilly rilly cool and making fun of me behind my back.
the internet
Sometimes I get freaked out if I have to call for a pizza, even if I know doing so will result in piping hot pizza. PIZZA.
Nicknames -- or the use of nicknames -- need to be earned in my opinion.
I’m not allowed to utter the words “run” or “exercise" without eliciting an intervention. Can I preserve my heart, please?
eating out
Is it really that hard to serve a properly bloody steak? Like you don't even need to cook it that long.
Also, can we come up with something new to call them so it doesn’t sound like I’m going over to Donna Reed’s house?
how not to be a dick
Being nice is my preferred method of operating, but sometimes you have to push and shove to get anything done. Sometimes you have to be a little rude.
I sometimes feel self-conscious about popping probiotics at a restaurant dinner table, or worry about appearing high-maintenance when ordering a side of kale to go with my side of squash.

Aug 28, 2014 at 10:00am | 212 comments

how not to be a dick
"I’m not a racist. I think mixed race babies are the cutest!"
I've taken up hot yoga. SWEAT EVERYWHERE.

Mar 26, 2013 at 5:00pm | 184 comments

how not to be a dick
There’s no need for you to speak more loudly and slowly, enunciate more, or mime things when you’re speaking to me
trans issues
Don’t out people. Don’t out people without their permission. Just don’t do it.
I've started, for the sake of my sanity, simply interpreting "I’m so bad at getting back to people" as "I’m so bad at being a friend right now" ... and letting it go.
I really just can’t be bothered to give one single shit about what I look like when I’m eating.

Mar 29, 2013 at 3:30pm | 142 comments