animation
Looking back, it’s even more disconcerting that half of my animated crushes were also animals.
geek love
As a little geekling I learned to love enthusiastic, caring dudes through cartoons, TV shows, video games, movies, and books.
childhood crushes
Punching someone into an unconscious state and wanting to mount them for a rigorous session of dry humping are basically the same feelings, I guess.
childhood crushes
During gym class, playing dodgeball, Jeb would aim for my face or my butt or my stomach -- I was a pretty easy target. I would have stood still if he’d asked me to.
in

Jul 22, 2014 at 6:00pm | 60 comments

childhood crushes
“Gregory is GAY,” was frequently bellowed by other kids. “Not for you, I’m not,” he’d say, blowing a kiss to his heckler.
in

Jul 16, 2014 at 5:00pm | 52 comments

childhood crushes
Jimmy had brown eyes with long lashes like a baby cow. A very sexy baby cow.
in

Sep 11, 2014 at 6:00pm | 50 comments

childhood crushes
childhood crushes
In another century there'd be a name for my mom, and that name would be "procurer."
childhood crushes
I recap a lot of different reality shows where women fight and snarl at each other and wear bandage dresses, and the thing that unsettles me most about them is how the main characters all seemed to stop developing emotionally at twelve.
childhood crushes
After school, I’d get my bike and cycle by the mansion where Pat lived. The road turned into a hill right before his house and I’d pump and sweat my way past, praying he didn’t see me, praying he did.
childhood crushes
To this day Faneuil Hall, Greek mythology, and "Empire Records" all still give me the faintest of lady boners.