Enjoying flavored vodka doesn't make you a wuss, and preferring scotch doesn't make you admirable. Get over yourself.
When I'm drunk, I'm on vacation from being a mom. My shift has ended, and I am now like a tax-write-off dependent and my friends are my guardians.
The Higgs Boson is confusing. Things written by David Lynch are confusing. The fact that my skin is both oily AND flaky is confusing. Beer is actually pretty simple.
I was 21, obviously. (Give or take seven or eight years.)

Apr 2, 2014 at 12:30pm | 310 comments

Did you know that the technical term for a hangover is “veisalgia”? It’s basically Norwegian for "uneasiness following debauchery," and is the best way to describe how I feel after drinking, both physically and mentally.
i love to talk about therapy
classy drinks
I hate how "girly" is supposed to be an insult. So let's talk drinks. Plus recipes for three of my fave cocktails.
Today everyone in classes chatted about how fun SXSW was, while I sat awkward and silent.

Mar 19, 2013 at 11:30am | 257 comments

Also, can we come up with something new to call them so it doesn’t sound like I’m going over to Donna Reed’s house?
The worst thing about my very short time in jail? Honestly? Chapped lips.

Dec 28, 2012 at 1:30pm | 213 comments

Whenever a new flavored beer monstrosity makes its way to the market, I am at once hopeful and terrified. Recently, the internet has been yapping about this new chocolate peanut butter beer from DuClaw, Sweet Baby Jesus.
Because I'm always on the lookout for creative new ways to make my brain shut the hell up.
Answering questions about your job/marital status/womb is just a little easier with a cocktail in hand.
I flipped in the air and almost died. More importantly, I came scarily close to hitting people, too.
I counted my alcohol calories in a week to see how I compared to the national 5%-of-total-calories average. Turns out my numbers are slightly higher than the average.
For those of you following along at home, it should be pretty apparent by now that I will eat/drink anything for attention and/or love.
This is an aesthetic emergency in the sense that as of late, drinking alcohol turns my face into a tomato. Time to decide: booze or beauty.

Mar 27, 2012 at 3:00pm | 132 comments

I don't know why I like this stupid holiday so much, but I do. It probably has something to do with my love of themed food.
victim blaming
Yet another column takes the stand that the key to not getting raped is in not drinking. What's going on?
I’m going to show you how to make your own alcoholic beverage in less than three days for 10 dollars or less (including initial equipment investment)!
Now that my experiment in going alcohol-free for a year is up, I’m not sure if I should go back to drinking.