My own attempts to challenge sexism within the sport have often been met with hostility. TRIGGER WARNING: descriptions of domestic and sexual assault.
Calling out unacceptable antisocial behavior may indeed satisfy the attention-seeking urge among those who perpetrate it, but NOT doing so doesn’t necessarily make that behavior stop.

Aug 11, 2014 at 3:00pm | 329 comments

trigger warnings
I don't find trigger warnings particularly useful, but our conversations about them tell me a lot about what we think about trauma survivors.
"Is this OK?" he asked me. "Do you promise?" That was when I finally stopped it.

Mar 26, 2014 at 2:00pm | 79 comments

I don’t know what I’d been expecting to find. Not that.

Mar 24, 2014 at 2:00pm | 317 comments

I remember very clearly, in primary school, repeating the stories and articulating the knowledge that I came from a family broken by abuse.

Jan 18, 2014 at 9:00am | 118 comments

Most people learn trust as a child from the people raising them, but I learned to go on roller coasters on my own.
She came out with this bag full of groceries, and told me that the food and milk was for the girls and me to eat over the next three days. I don’t remember a time in my life when I ever felt more grateful.
My ex managed to ruin my credit before I ever had any.
We're supposed to sit there silently tolerating the abuse, maintaining stiff upper lips.
I am having a hard time seeing how this was my fault and not hers in the first place.
Can you offer any suggestions or resources on the best way to share our concern without alienating our sister?

Sep 20, 2013 at 6:30pm | 40 comments

When your abuser is convinced, and has others convinced, he is a supporter of women’s rights and social justice, the alienation and betrayal feels all the more disquieting.

Sep 17, 2013 at 11:00am | 153 comments

When you are abused, your self worth depends entirely on the approval of your abuser. In the absence of any sort of approval from my mother, I turned to men.

Sep 3, 2013 at 3:00pm | 94 comments

My psychiatrist told me to leave over and over, because no job was worth this price, and I said no.
family drama
They blamed me for tearing the family apart by calling 911 that night in August.
This is a story about when music is survival.

Apr 11, 2013 at 2:00pm | 69 comments

Everyone talks about the physical aspect of domestic abuse -- which is, of course, no small thing -- but there’s more to it. Conor left me not only physically battered, but nearly bankrupt.
Recently I went home with a kinky man after our first date. The experience phased in and out of being consensual throughout the night. I distinctly left his apartment feeling violated and I continued to feel violated for several days after.
ihtm contest
What had been a complicated father-daughter relationship became an impossible one.
I feel awful. But feeling and doing something aren’t one in the same.
ihtm contest
John taught me that not every guy was like my husband. It was the push I needed to really see that life could be normal again.