Help Me Find a New Job

And are breasts a liability on a work interview?

Apr 24, 2012 at 6:00pm | Leave a comment

I love when you dress me. I love when I don't have to decide. I love wearing the same clothes over and over. So far, thank you for picking the outfit that I've been wearing and will continue to wear every time I go on TV for the rest of my life. This week a TV thing came up (one of the night-time entertainment shows -- I forget which one) and I looked in the closet for what to put on and then remembered (equals: Charlotte reminded me) that I didn't have to take even two seconds to figure it out and I thanked you so much, again.

 Voting is still open on My Wedding Dress (no wedding yet -- lucky me!), so let me know your choice for that one if you haven't already. 

 Now for another pesky occasion where one is generally expected not just to dress (if you are a nudist, right on! tell me about it!) but to do the horrific: "dress appropriately." And that occasion would be a Job Interview. Feel free to jump up and down with joy at the prospect of me having a different job than this one. I will just say: You Never Know. 

Unlike most every time in life, where I am happy to be inappropriate, a job interview would not be the wise time to do this. I would save that for the actual job, right? 

I believe there are lots of rules about dressing for job interviews and I'm not even sure what they are. Nothing too low-cut? Nothing sleeveless? Nothing with a huge lipstick stain on your left breast area?  Nothing that stinks to high heaven? Nothing too high-cut (I was called out on this once as I was going around pitching Jane magazine in an apparently too-short skirt)?

I'm thinking that in this economic climate, you might not want to totally put someone off with your exposed breasts (then again) or your greasy hair (I once left an interview with some TV producers and overheard them talking about my greasy hair -- I had had a blow-dry three days prior and didn't want to waste it).

I know that what I wore to talk to the Australian publishers I started Sassy magazine with was not appropriate: beat-up too-big men's Polish Navy shoes with a lacy thrift-store top and polka dot skirt. But that worked fine because Sandra, my boss-to-be, was cool. You can't always count on that. 

Though I know we get worked up about what to wear to job interviews, and though that is why I am asking y'all to pick THE outfit that's going to land me the BEST job with a TON of power over the little people and a WHOPPING salary (just kidding -- you know I don't care about those things), I never remember what people I interview for a job are wearing.  The only things I remember are the bracelets that they play with a lot or the big necklace that looks like they've never worn it before or anything that looks very uncomfortable. I did a little test (filmed USING MY NOKIA LUMIA  900 WINDOWS PHONE -- subtle plug, no?) to see if I could remember what any of the xoJaners were wearing at their interviews with me. 

I got every single one wrong. I thought Bryan was in a suit when he actually wore jeans; recalled Madeline as wearing beige pants when it was a navy blue dress; forgot about Olivia's jeans shorts even though I commented on them that day; guessed polka-dots for Emily because of my sharp statistics skills but not because I really remembered. Fortunately, I had just met Sara Benincasa in person for the first time a couple of hours before:

 

 

I imagine that all jobs would have different expectations for what you'd wear to the interview for said job, so for the purposes of this project, think about what job you think I'd be most qualified for or think about the job you'd like me to have. Then VOTE (please) on which outfit I should wear to the big interviews.  

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All clothing by Banana Republic; Eric's backpack.

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All clothing by BCBG Max Azria, Jane's bag (A Courteney Cox hand-me-down)

 

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Burberry Prorsum coat and bag, Calvin Klein heels.

 

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Calvin Klein dress and heels; Banana Republic bag.

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All clothing and shoes by DKNY; Jane's own bag.

 

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DVF dress; Prada bag and Calvin Klein heels.

 

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Marc by Marc Jacobs dress and shoes; Jane's own backpack.

 

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JCREW coat and jean shorts; Mulberry bag and Burberry Prorsum wedges, Jane's shirt (Also a Courteney Cox hand-me-down)

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All clothing by Kenneth Cole; Jane's own shoes and bag. 

 

Behind the scenes at The Shoot (ha):

When Eric came to my apartment carrying these clothes to take these pictures, Charlotte was sick, so just to my left in every shot is little Charlotte throwing up. Anyhow, don't let that influence your voting.

I appropriately/uncharacteristically shaved the lower half of my legs for these photos. In the sink. No full shower. As Charlotte said through her fever, "They won't be able to smell you from the pictures." Love her. And you. 

I wore a flattening bra (not as extreme as a jogging bra, but a pretty flattening one). I can look like a C or an A at this point in my life and the A-ish-making one was clean and I think that breasts may be a liability on a job interview anyway, so...

For B0nus Points: Guess which outfit Charlotte chose.

For Good Vibes: Tell me if your feet are all messed up like mine. See them here? They scare children. They are a good test of whether someone really loves me for me. If we ever do a foot version of The Bellies Project, I'm going to be THE STAR of that thing. 

 


 

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