What I Was Really Doing Over The Weekend...i.e. NOT Braving Hurricane Irene

While poor East Coasters bravely prepared for and endured the storm, I was in cushy Malibu.

Sep 2, 2011 at 9:00am | Leave a comment

Remember last weekend, when I wrote this from on board an airplane and challenged you all to guess where I was going to escape the Hurricane?

And then remember how Cat Tweeted exactly where I was:

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...and ruined the contest?

Well, anyway, here, a few tidbits from my relaxing weekend in Malibu with Courteney, Coco, and of course, the one and only Charlotte...

[This is Cat. Sorry about your "contest", Jane, but it's not like there were ever really any rules!

Okay, everyone else: can we talk about what Jane ISN'T telling you about her weekends with Courteney for a second? Every time she goes to Malibu it's a frigging celebrity fest. Like US WEEKLY come to life! I'm talking UNBEARABLE glamour, and Jane won't disclose it all on here because she doesn't want everyone to think she's a namedropper. Luckily I am around to invade her posts and drop the bold-faced names for her, because literally she refuses to do it. 

Okay, so obviously Aniston is there at Courteney's all the time -- all of those Courteney-and-Jen-not-being-friends-anymore rumors are totally not true, you guys. There's also a steady rotation of non-"Friends" famous people in the mix whenever Jane is on the West Coast: think everyone from Gwyneth (with Apple and Moses) to Tobey Macguire to Tom Cruise to Gwen Stefani to Cameron Diaz to Robert Downey, Jr. to Cindy Crawford to Pee-Wee Herman to Sasha Baron-Cohen and Isla Fisher, and even Matt and Ben! I scream at Jane that namedropping Matt and Ben is NOT namedropping -- it's just WHAT SHOULD BE DONE -- but she just won't gossip like I will!

It's very frustrating.

Oh! And so there's totally this major rock star that Jane has had a thing for forever and they were going to have him over to Courteney's house, but then Jane decided that she doesn't think that he's that hot anymore, so they didn't. I totally agree with Jane here, because I never have found this rock star that hot, although everyone else does. He always has his shirt off and has long hair -- can you guess who?

Another blind item: notably absent was Jane's actual celebrity ex-boyfriend, a hunk I'll call Blank Blankalo. If you can guess his identity in the comments section, well -- let's just say that Jane will probably confirm your correct guess. Or I will. HA.

Okay! Back to Jane's weekend in Malibu. Obviously I tried to dominate her post. Sorry again, Jane! -- xo CAT]

The girls are always telling me that I look pregnant for some reason. When we were playing, they decided to make me look pregnant for real. I think this picture (shot by Charlotte or Coco -- I'm not sure which) is unflattering, but Madeline saw it and burst out that I look a "Barefoot Contessa", so okay, let's run it!

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Charlotte and Coco left me and Courteney alone for a while so they could go to a  Taylor Swift concert (thanks Drew!), where they were in the front row and got to touch Taylor's hands (in gloves) and mic. Also, Nicki Minaj did an impromptu performance and Ellen Degeneres got on stage, but Charlotte didn't know who she was.

 

I wanted to see if this "working from anywhere" thing I hear about really worked and it does, to a large extent. I tried not to show Courteney's houses in this video because Elle Decor has that exclusive, from what I understand. And FYI, I am whispering in this video because I didn't want to wake anyone up. Eric thinks I sound sultry. I'll take it. 

On Tuesday, we said goodbye on the set of "Cougar Town." Does anyone recognize this part of the set? And here's a sticker on the refrigerator in the craft services truck. Charlotte took these pictures.

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Can I finish by saying that I didn't even want to write this post? I just did because we needed something "from Jane" in our weekly xoJane.com newsletter. [Speaking of which, why don't you subscribe to our newsletter? You clearly like us or you wouldn't be here right now. I will hijack that sh*t too and tell you what the eff really goes on around here if you SIGN UP. ] Did it bore you? Am I boring?