I'm on my way to Wisconsin as you read this (well, my plane leaves at 7 p.m., if you are one of my favorite readers who gets here promptly at 6 p.m. every Friday). I'm going with Charlotte to a place called Devil’s Lake to be with my brothers and their many children and my mom and stepdad. Are there fewer mosquitos in Wisconsin? I hope so, because I’ve been getting eaten up like crazy by mosquitoes this year, which has me looking for the reason they go for me so much and not Charlotte. Not that I would prefer that they attack Charlotte, except in my truly bad mom moments.
Theory 1: I’ve heard that sugar in your blood makes you more attractive to them, and I have been on some major candy binges lately. It all started weeks ago with the dried fruit in the office kitchen and progressed from there to the point where last Saturday I found myself in my office with Charlotte and her friend surrounded by bags of $38 worth of bulk candy from Candyland in the Times Square Toys R Us.
Theory 2: I heard from a yoga dude (while we were in Triangle Pose on the beach) that the mosquitoes are attracted to a hormone that is produced when you are stressed about the mosquitoes, so I should remain Zen.
Theory 3: And my friend just told me yesterday that people who process cholesterol really well produce something (all that byproduct cholesterol you've processed?) on their skin that mosquitoes are attracted to. I like that theory the best.
Anyway, I’d love to hear your mosquito attraction theories, but if that’s not your thing, you may want to consider talking about…
- What color you’d like to paint your bedroom walls.
- Whether or not you smile at babies you don’t know.
- The best comeback you thought of way after you needed it.
- People who leave animals in cars.
- A smartphone app you’d recommend to everyone.
But those are just suggestions, of course. You probably already have a strong idea of what you want to talk about and it is quite probably none of those things. But whatever it is -- your weekend plans, advice you need from the amazing counselors assembled here each week or just saying "hi, I'm here" -- it's all better than good. As are you.