Speak Your Mind or Just Type Out a Fart Noise in This Latest, Greatest Open Thread

Can you keep a secret?
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December 2, 2016
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So I finally made Dan go on vacation this week and he took off to Cabo with his mom. Managing editors have the hardest time actually getting breaks, because they are generally the ones that keep everything running, so even though he travels more than anyone else here — and definitely more than Marci, who hasn't been on a vacation in 12 years — he generally (ALWAYS) writes me back at 2:05 a.m. if I send him something at 2:04, no matter where in the world he is. I mistakenly left him copied on a group email yesterday when I answered it and actually got an auto-reply back saying that he was traveling and would only have email access intermittently. That has never happened before in my whole entire life or at least what feels like a life that I have spent with the wonderful and diligent Dan.

Equally-wonderful-but-in-different-ways Caitlin had her 26th birthday on Tuesday, so if you haven't already wished her a happy birthday in some other comment section, you can def post a belated bday wish here. A guy she's talking to gave her the following present: he donated to Planned Parenthood in her name. Discuss? I would feel psyched if a guy did that for my birthday, but Marci was saying something about questioning his motives, which I didn't completely understand, but maybe you do? Anyway: Feel free to discuss how you'd feel if a guy gave to Planned Parenthood in your name for your bday present.

I am holiday shopping my little head off for my daughter. I have a thing that I inherited from my dad about loving nothing better than to be the giver of something that makes the recipient super once-in-a-lifetime excited, so I tend to go overboard. I gave her a big, huge surprise party for her 12-1/2-year-old birthday, for one dumb example. My dad used to always tell us that we were going to Disney World because he liked to see us excited, even though we never once went.

He would also way overhype things. Like, he was an artist and told us one night that he was bringing something back from his studio the next day that would allow us to take artwork we had and copy it to make it bigger, so my brother and I had a whole plan for how we were going to create posters out of our Archie comic book images that we were going to sell around our neighborhood (we were always looking for a money-making scheme). We pictured a big white shiny Xerox-machine-looking item in our very own home. We had our whole business plan down. And then when he brought it home, it was two pieces of wood with a hinge in the middle where you'd attach a pencil on either side with a rubber band when you draw.

So now is the part where I give you questions to answer just in case you don't also have a wacko codependent dad or need a vacation or are also holiday shopping or for whatever odd and inconceivable reason you're not already bursting with things to talk about in your comment section. And it really is YOUR comment section. You can even name it if you want. What would you name it? Go ahead and answer that and/or any of these:

Where is your cellphone right now?

Are you the kind of person whose shoes stay new-looking or do yours get trashed?

If you look to your left, who's the first person you see? (If you're alone, pictures of people count.)

What is the most annoying sound in the world?

What does your favorite mug look like?

Wherever you are (are you on vacation with your mom too?), you are welcome to make this Open Thread into whatever you need it to be. If you need advice on dealing with a strained relationship, a piece of art you're working on, or a job predicament, ask away. If you're looking for an apartment, a new pet, or an old friend, share how that's going. In any language. Your big and small ideas are welcome, worthwhile, and worthy of loads and loads of upvotes. Chances are, someone here is going through something similar. Tell each other anything. Don't hold back. It's all a-okay here. As are you.

P.S. The question I posed in the dek above about keeping secrets came from something that happened to me this week: a great friend told me perhaps the most exciting and surprising news I've heard in a long time, but told me not to tell anyone. The friend is also famous, so it may get out at some point, though I have been surprised over the years at what stuff I've known about that the tabloids have not gotten ahold of. Gives you faith in true friends and their secret-keeping abilities. However, the incident made me realize that it's hard for me to keep good-news secrets and easy to keep secrets that are dark. Maybe it's for the same reason that I was just talking about — loving so much giving people things that make them feel happy and excited. How about you? Do you ever have trouble keeping secrets? And if you do, is it harder to keep a secret about an upcoming baby (for a presumably light example) or a hidden drug addiction (for a presumably dark example)?

P.P.S. My niece Caroline is pregnant, and I will be a great aunt for the first time. That wasn't the secret.

P.P.P.S. Enjoy your comments! It's Friday! Enjoy them today and tomorrow and on and on throughout this weekend or for your whole life, whatever makes you feel good and that all is right in your world. Say more! Say less! Say any old thing! Why not? Let's!