YOU ARE THE ADVICE COLUMNIST: My Boyfriend Is A Slob, How Do I Get Him To Clean Up?

My boyfriends great but he's really messy, help!
xoJane Advice Column
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My boyfriends great but he's really messy, help!


I absolutely love my boyfriend. He really is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. However, here we are, three years later, and we have just recently moved in together. He is a great roommate, for the most part. However, he is absolutely disgusting. And if this was just a typical college roommate, I’d tell him / her how gross he / she is and what needs to change. But, this is my loving, adoring, sweet, romantic boyfriend, and I don’t know what to do. Let me give you some examples. Every time he showers, he stands in the middle of the bathroom, dripping wet. Wet enough that the maintenance man has had to come up on multiple occasions because our bathroom is leaking to the apartment underneath us. (So not only that, but I constantly am stepping, in my socks, on soaking wet floors.) He will occasionally wash the dishes, after I ask him a few times, but he never does a good job. And I’m not talking streak marks on the china. I’m talking, I’ll take a plate out of the cabinet and it will have chunks of food on it. (“Oh whoops, I just didn’t see that” is always his reply). And again, he’ll leave practically the whole kitchen soaking wet after washing a few dishes. He also smells. He thinks that showering three times a week, and being a 200+ pound stinky sweaty man, is okay and I should just get used to that. He is just a gross person to live with; he eats in our bedroom (which I sometimes do too, and it’s not a big deal), but he always leaves crumbs or trash out. And the only time he’ll clean it up is after I calmly tell him to, and then yell at him when he still doesn’t. I also barely ever want to have sex with him because he refuses to brush his teeth (I’m not kidding about that one), and he honestly just grosses me out. I absolutely adore this man and can’t picture my life without him, but every time I try to tell him how to be a more decent person that I should want to live with, I am told that I am too sensitive and picky. So what should I do?

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