You Are The Advice Columnist; My Friend Doesn't Think She Needs Help

How would you guys talk to a friend who is in a dark place mentally and doesn't think she has a problem?

Aug 7, 2014 at 6:30pm | Leave a comment


Help! One of my best friends is spiraling out of control and I'm not sure how to talk to her about it.
My bestie (we'll call her C) was in a really bad relationship the last year and a half. C's boyfriend constantly called her names, told her she wasn't attractive and insisted she eat less because she was too big in his eyes. No matter how many of her friends tried to talk some sense into her so she would leave, she stuck it out until this past December. We all sighed in relief because C's emotionally abusive boyfriend was going to be pushed into the past and we'd get our awesome, peppy and fun friend back!
It didn't happen that way, unfortunately. What started out as "WOOOO I'M SINGLE LET'S GO OUT AND MEET GUYS" ended up being her wanting to go out more and more. Since breaking up with her ex seven months ago, C has added about 20 notches to her belt (I'm not exaggerating but I wish I was). She drinks every single night, whether she's alone or with people, and it's impacting her in a negative way. She's late to work almost every single day, she doesn't shower much and she's put on at least 30 pounds since the breakup from stress eating.
I feel horrible for C. I want to help her see herself in a better light and understand that she doesn't have to sleep around and drink excessively to prove a point to anyone. Her and I both struggle with depression, which is something that we bonded over when we first met. I know that she used to go to therapy in her hometown, but hasn't gone in years. She's one of my favorite people on the planet and I feel nauseous when I think about how self destructive she's being.
I have talked to her other close girlfriends who agree that she has a problem with drinking and sleeping around. They said she did it back in college (before I met her) and she "grew out of it" so I'm not 100% sure how to approach the situation.
How would you guys talk to a friend who was in a dark place mentally and doesn't think she has a problem? I don't want her to feel threatened or judged, but I also want to get the point across.

Have any advice for our reader? Let her know in the comments!

Send all of your burning questions to