You Are The Advice Columnist: I Kissed My Boss

As we climbed into his large SUV, I murmured, "please don't fire me." Clearly I was high out of my mind.

Jun 26, 2014 at 6:30pm | Leave a comment

image

 

Okay, so it's not very complicated, or maybe it is..

I was relieved from my previous job about three weeks ago due to downsizing, and I found this new one almost instantaneously. I was unemployed for only a week, tops. If this information matters, I just turned 22 a couple months back, I have a boyfriend (one year and 11 months strong) and I work as a receptionist in New York City. The staff is incredibly lovely and I've been having a pretty pleasant time learning the ropes. My boss has been very kind, but he's like that with everyone, so I thought it was no big deal.

So yesterday I was closing the office for the night after all the clients left. My married boss, Emanuel** (name changed, obvi) asks me to accompany him to dinner. I let out a tense laugh because I thought he was joking. Well he wasn't. When I reluctantly said yes, he hugged me. I immediately went on edge as I thought it was going to be a one-on-one affair, turns out it was a group dinner (*whew*) at a nearby restaurant. I was there with my boss and several of his close friends. As they swapped stories, I ate dinner, feeling rather uncomfortable, trying hard not to come off as rude and stand-offish. (May I note that throughout the night, Emanuel tried to make it seems like he wasn't married, although he dons a band around his ring finger, and I've seen several pictures of his wife and kids in his office.) My boss kept glancing at me from across the table and ordering me drinks, which I drank hesitantly (never again am I drinking a dry martini). He played with my hair throughout the dinner, and showered me in several sleazy compliments. I'm still not sure why I didn't excuse myself and run home.

After we finished, one of my boss' friends insisted that we go to his penthouse to "hangout" for a little. I had already downed a couple drinks at dinner so I guess my inhibitions were pretty low, and so I joined them. For the first 10 minutes, I was simply in awe of the glamorous apartment; mine is a linen closet in comparison. I was offered several drinks (wine and a fancy rum and coke) and I downed them all just to cope with the situation. Then they broke out the weed. Ugh. Needless to say I partook as we stood on the balcony; my boss' arm wrapped tightly around my waist, whispering in my ear and kissing my forehead. It was evident that the men present wanted to turn things up a notch, but it seemed as though nobody was willing to make the first move. Emanuel continued to ask me if I was alright until it was time to go. I guess weed doesn't mellow anyone else out; they still had way too much energy. By this time it was already past 1:00 a.m., and the mothers of the group were complaining about having to be up early to wake their children for school. Everyone said their goodbyes to the host and exited the building to their cars. On the walk back to his car, Emanuel wrapped his arm around me. He asked me repetitively if I was alright going home by myself, and if I wanted a ride. I said I was fine only because I didn't want to be trapped in an enclosed space with him. He seemed rather insistent, and I found myself agreeing to him dropping me off to the nearest subway.

As we climbed into his large SUV, I murmured, "Please don't fire me." Clearly I was high out of my mind. He looked at me rather sympathetically, asking, "Why would you think that?" He then reached over and began caressing my leg while making a right turn. At this point, I could feel myself gradually getting turned on slightly, and I'd like to blame that entirely on the drinks. Adamantly, he insisted that I think of him as a "cool boss," and not to be intimidated by him. He even told me that I could come to him with any personal matters."I'd never fire you," he said kissing my hair. "Okay," I said shyly. I was simply frozen at this point, unsure of how to react to all this. We pulled up alongside the subway, and I readied myself to exit. He leaned over for a kiss goodbye. I gave him a parting double cheek-to-cheek kiss. "That's it?" he asked. "What about the last one?" He then pulled me in closer and pecked me on the lips, which resulted in a deep kiss with tongues swirling for a little under a minute. I'm not sure why I reciprocated, I guess I had given in. My boss is attractive and nice, but he's married with children; I have a boyfriend and this thing called morals and self-respect...AND HE'S MY BOSS. This was all so wrong, and I immediately fled the car. "Why don't you come give me another kiss?" he called out after me. I said no, and he asked me to text him when I made it home safely. I ran down into the subway, my lips still tingling with guilt. I boarded the train, hoping to forget the whole fiasco, but to no avail.

I went in to work this morning, only to receive a call from him, asking if I was alright because he didn't get a text from me last night…

I come to you, my fellow xoJane-ers because I'm unsure of what to do. Should I continue to conduct myself professionally around him and act as though nothing happened? Or should I avoid the inevitable repercussions and start scouring Craigslist for a new job? I just got this job, and I'm not really certain I want to endure unemployment again, even for a brief while. I haven't seen him since that night, but I'm not sure how I'll be able to compose myself when I do. Please help me! All serious answers appreciated.

Any words of wisdom for our reader? Let her know in the comments.


Send all of your questions to advice@xojane.com!