You Are the Advice Columnist: How Do I Embrace My Sexuality?

My brain just can't handle me being sexual.
xoJane Advice Column
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My brain just can't handle me being sexual.


How do I become comfortable with the sexual side of myself? Whenever I do anything remotely sexual (either by myself or with my long distance boyfriend) I feel dirty and disgusting and I keep thinking of myself as a whore. I don't see other people as dirty or disgusting when they embrace who they are sexually so why can't I?

My boyfriend is very understanding but I think he's a bit confused because, as he puts it, "your libido is MUCH higher than mine." I'm not asexual, I definitely want a sex life, but my brain just can't handle me being sexual. It probably has to do with the fact that my dad always advocated "no sex or sexiness until way after you are married and dead! And when you are dead you must be buried and not cremated!" and me being told it was disgusting to discuss such things (sex, not being dead) as a kid. I know this thinking isn't helpful but it's still in my head and it won't get out.

Help, I want to cry :(

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