Dish Network Announces Sling TV, The Latest Volley Against Traditional Cable Providers

Plus, a real housewife goes to real prison, a convoluted sex scandal, and a possible act of domestic terrorism in Colorado.
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Amanda Lauren
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Plus, a real housewife goes to real prison, a convoluted sex scandal, and a possible act of domestic terrorism in Colorado.

As I read over the stories for today, I realized this edition's theme is rich people going to jail. This wasn’t on purpose, I promise. So, what’s going on? A fan favorite Real Housewife is in prison as you read this and a former governor is on his way to the big house as well. Plus, a favorite store, C. Wonder, is closing for good and I’ve got some of the details. But, as I try to keep xoNews not a total downer, I also have some good news for cable cord cutters and for Californians (or people who want to travel in California).

So, what do you think of these white-collar criminals? Are you going to miss C. Wonder? What are some of your favorite stores that are no longer? Discuss this in the comments or tweet me directly (or just follow me) @AmandaLauren.

Orange Is The New Jersey

Teresa Giudice of the Real Housewives of New Jersey surrendered to the federal correctional facility in Danbury, Connecticut (yes, it’s the prison where Piper Kerman did her time, aka the Orange Is The New Black prison) on Monday morning around 3:00am. She was supposed to surrender at 7:00am, but she went early because she reportedly didn’t want to make a spectacle out of it or put any additional hardship on her family.

Her husband, Joe, was not with Teresa when she checked in because he had to drive their daughters to school in the morning. Instead, her attorney accompanied her. Her final meal? An egg sandwich (or as Teresa would say, samwich) at Elmer’s Diner in Danbury.

Teresa is scheduled to serve 15 months for 41 counts of fraud including wire, mail and bank fraud.

Luckily, things won’t be too bad for the real housewife turned real prisoner. Her family is scheduled to visit her this weekend. Plus, the commissary, where she can spent up to $320 per month, has a wide variety of items on sale, including Charmin toilet paper, Wildberry Frozen Yogurt, hummus, macaroons, brown rice, cilantro cubes, Clairol hair dye, cappuccino, soy milk, Dove Dark chocolate bars, albacore tuna, fragrance oils and Jergens lotion.

Singer Lauryn Hill served also three months in October 2013 in Danbury for tax evasion.

Good News For Cord Cutters

If dealing with Comcast or Time Warner makes you want to cry (maybe that’s just me), Dish has new product that might just be up your alley. At the Consumer Electronics Show on Monday, the satellite provider announced Sling TV, an entirely cloud based “cable” bundle for $20 a month. So what does $20 bucks get you? A whole lot actually, including ESPN, ESPN2, Disney Channel (for you "Girl Meets World" enthusiasts), TBS, TNT, ABC Family, Food Network, HGTV, Travel Channel, Adult Swim, TBS and Cartoon Network. There will also be $5 extra packs with grouped channels like News & Info, which will include The Cooking Channel, Bloomberg and HLN. There will also be a dedicated channel with content from Maker Studios.

So, while you are probably thinking this is another Hulu or Netflix -- it doesn’t work quite that way. You won’t be able to access the stream by multiple users at the same time (so no sharing passwords with your friends). Sling works with Roku, iOS, Amazon Fire TV, Amazon Fire TV Stick, Google Nexus Player, Microsoft Xbox One, and LG as well as Samsung Smart TVs.

While the service isn’t available yet (it’s being tested in Beta), it will give everyone another reason to cut the cord.

Prince Andrew, Alan Dershowitz and Jeffrey Epstein Walk Into A Cell

If you’ve been hearing a lot about Prince Andrew, wealthy financier Jeffrey Epstein and Harvard Professor/ O.J.’s defense attorney Alan Dershowitz and some underage prostitute scandal, thought “WTF?” and are now completely confused, let me explain.

Let’s start with Epstein. In 2008, Epstein served 13 months out of an 18-month sentence for soliciting an underage girl for prostitution, beginning in 2008. He’s now a registered sex offender. The same year, two women sued Epstein civilly with the same attorney for having sex with them while they were underage. Epstein ordered underage prostitutes under the guise of them being “massage therapists.”

A new motion was filed last week in Florida by a woman named Jane Doe #3, alleging Epstein not only had sex with her, but she was also "loaned" out to his rich and powerful friends, including his attorney, Alan Dershowitz, and Prince Andrew. These instances occurred in London, New York, and on a private Caribbean island owned by Epstein. Jane Doe #3 says she met Epstein when she was 15 and was his “sex slave” from 1999-2002.

To clarify, neither Prince Andrew nor Alan Dershowitz are actually being sued.

Buckingham Palace is calling the whole thing bullocks. They issued a statement saying,

This relates to long-standing and ongoing civil proceedings in the United States, to which the Duke of York is not a party. As such we would not comment on the detail. However, for the avoidance of doubt, any suggestion of impropriety with underage minors is categorically untrue.

Dershowitz is also denying the allegations and filing papers to have Jane Doe #3’s attorneys disbarred, telling CNN,

Remember that this woman—who I haven't identified, you have—is a prostitute. She is a liar. She has charged Bill Clinton with having sex with her on the island, when Secret Service records will obviously show he was never on the island. She claimed to meet the Queen. Buckingham records will show that isn't true. How does a lawyer rely on the statement of a woman who is a serial perjurer, serial liar, serial prostitute, and bring charges against somebody with an unscathed reputation like me without even checking?

It should also be noted that Epstein had a phone book with 21 different email addresses and phone numbers for former President Bill Clinton.

Former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell Sentenced To Two Years In Prison

After pleading guilty to 11 counts of corruption in September, former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell was sentenced to two years in prison, which is quite a far cry from the six and a half years prosecutors originally sought. But, it’s certainly not the community service sentence that his attorneys hoped for.

So what were these 11 counts of corruption? McDonnell accepted approximately $165k worth of gifts from a businessman promoting his health supplement company.

While more than 400 letters sent on McDonnell’s behalf were received by the judge, US Justice James Spencer, he couldn’t put the jury’s verdict aside and said,

A price must be paid. Unlike Pontius Pilate, I can't wash my hands of it all. A meaningful sentence must be imposed.

McDonnell was ordered to report to prison on February 9, but is expected to appeal.

Headlines

· If you’ve been wondering why everything at C. Wonder has been 50% off for quite a while now, and why’ve they’ve closed all but 11 locations, it’ s because the company, owned by Chris Burch (Tory Burch’s ex-husband) is done for good. On Monday, an insider leaked this information to the media and the company abruptly shut down all their social media accounts. Whimsical might be over, but, it’s been wonderful C. Wonder -- you’ll be missed!

· Legendary ESPN sportscaster Stuart Scott passed away at 49, of cancer. He was known for his own unique style, including his signature catchphrases “Boo-Yah!” to “As cool as the other side of the pillow.” When he was honored with the Jimmy V Award at the ESPSYs, Scott told the audience “When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live.” And what a life he lived.

· Finally, the high-speed rail project broke ground on Tuesday in California. The first phase of the $68 billion project will connect San Francisco and Los Angeles, allowing travelers to go from one city to another in less than 3 hours, which means the train will travel over 200 mph. The project will ultimately cover over 800 miles and 24 stations including Anaheim (home of Disneyland), San Jose, Merced, Riverside, San Diego, Sacramento and Fresno. 

· On Tuesday morning, a makeshift bomb was set off outside the offices of an NAACP chapter in Colorado Springs. The bomb was set beside a gas can that failed to ignite. Fortunately no one was injured, and given that the only other tenant in the building is a hair salon, it seems likely that this attack was racially motivated, and therefore an act of domestic terrorism. The FBI is investigating.