I woke up to so many text messages this morning that I thought someone had died.
I was almost afraid to open my texts, thinking to myself, "Is this really how I want to start off my Friday? I don't even have any coffee in me yet." But then I thought briefly about current events, and realized what everyone was texting me about, and became overcome with excitement.
"Oh my god, the new Rihanna album finally dropped."
NOT SO. But it's the only thing that could get me more excited than that!
MARRAIGE EQUALITY IN ALL 50 STATES, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! HOW'S THAT TASTE?
I laid there in bed, scrolling through my Twitter feed, and kept seeing a map of our country, with every state highlighted, remarkably, the same color. "All 50 States." I'm a visual person and that, to me, was when it really hit home.
I remember last summer, when the ban on gay marriage was struck down here in Wisconsin, I got home and walked into the door to my apartment, which I was then sharing with the guy I had been in a relationship with for the last three years. He was standing at the sink, and looked me dead in the face and told me, "Congratulations," and that's sort of when it all became real to me, then, at least.
That's a feeling I won't ever forget (sheer terror). The excitement. Sometimes, I think a lot of falling in love with a person has to do with falling in love with the possibility of that person, of what you two could become, together. I'd never really imagined a future with anyone, a forever, because no one ever told me I could. I was never given permission.
And then, just like that, I was.
That's when my whole perspective changed. Not that I, or any of us, should feel like we need a law to validate us, or our love, but yo, it feels good to be seen. It's important that our worth is recognized.
Emily asked if I wanted to write something about this and I said no, because I feel like my voice isn't really the best for a full article on the topic, so we're gonna settle for an open thread. Besides, I'm only one person, and this is so much bigger than any one person, so I think an open thread is more appropriate, anyway. I will say this.
In the year or so since that day last year, things have changed. I live in this apartment alone now. But I don't think I'll ever forget that feeling of my life unfurling in front of me, or at least, the possibility of it, and I hope that those who haven't been able to feel what I felt on that day in June get to feel it today, and every day after today.
I was lucky enough to bartend that night. I watched my friends get married on the steps of the state capitol building and then popped countless bottles of champagne for "newlywed" couples who had already been together for their entire lives. The entire bar became one big wedding reception and we were all the guests. It felt like we were at one gigantic wedding. Not a gay wedding. I'm so fucking sick of the term "gay wedding."
I felt pretty lucky that night, and I hope everyone gets to feel that way this evening. Isn't New York Pride this weekend? That is going to be LIT.
Anyway, before I get even more sentimental, I'm going to go back to writing about what I know: mascara. Tell me how excited you are about marriage equality in the comments below! Tell me all of your wedding stories! ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED TODAY!?!?!