For reasons unknown, lately I've been thinking a lot about confrontations. Not the odd virtual ones you have with randos on the Internet (which some people tend to experience semi-often), but the real ones -- the painful ones -- you have with friends, family and other loved ones.
I've never gotten in a physical fight -- no fists have flown, thankfully! -- but, like lots of women, I count plenty of verbal altercations to my name. I haven't gotten in a big screaming match in quite some time (they seemed to dry up when I stopped drinking at age 29; whaddya know?) but the ones I HAVE had were ... nasty.
So it got me reflecting on the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me (or about me). In some ways I feel like that one comment my first love made about my "butt getting big" was the cruelest thing ever -- not because there's anything wrong with having a big butt or having a few (gasp!) womanly weight fluctuations, but because he said it knowing exactly how hyper-critical and nitpicky it would feel to me. It's stuck with me ever since, haunting my head and coloring my perceptions of him, and us, and whether the person I fell in love with was actually the person he was, or whether it was all just a fantasy.
A few other notable insults that have been lobbed at me or about me over the years:
-"You're a selfish little wench." - my mother
-"Crawl back into your coffin, c*nt." - a random fratty ass commenting on my exceptionally pale skin when I was visiting a friend at UPenn many, many moons ago
-"You're the devil." - a college friend and former roommate; I can't remember what she was pissed about
-"I don't know what the waterworks were all about, but if I were you, I'd seek help ASAP for my emotional issues." -email from the Worst Internet Date on the Planet, referring to how I started crying because he wanted to leave 30 seconds after sleeping with me
-"Sometimes I think she's pretty and sometimes I think she's not, like, AT ALL." - a friend from high school, talking to another friend about my appearance (yes, I was eavesdropping); I know this isn't the worst insult in the world, but when you're 15, that sh*t stings
-"hey, this is outrageous putting [redacted] as the #1 story. What are you thinking. it is a pure self promoting move, and we would look so silly." - note from a former boss. OK, this wasn't MEAN mean, per se, and obviously he had every right to share his criticism with me. But the super-scolding tone he used just wasn't cool or necessary, IMHO (though that type of language/approach was a regular occurrence with him -- urgh).
-"This only confirms what I suspected: that you're the most self-centered person on the planet." - one of my best friends from college; this was her response after I told her I was slightly jealous of another friend.
OK, your turn! What's the nastiest thing someone's ever said to (or about) you? Tell us in the comments, plz. Together we can make the gross words lose their gross power! Or something like that!
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