Introducing Sara Benincasa, Our New Political Writer Who is Sometimes Not Always Liberal

I have strong feelings about butt sex, among other things.

Jan 24, 2012 at 5:00pm | Leave a comment

image

Oh, hello, gals! I don't believe we've met before this very moment. My name is Sara Benincasa, and I have joined the motley crew of fine-assed bitches here at XOJane in order to write about the politics, among other things. Like judges, journalists are duty-bound to fully disclose all biases, so here's mine: I'm as lefty-left as it getty-gets. Except in these cases:

1. I think the Keystone Pipeline is not a terrible idea, although like all oil-related projects, it is not a good one. We ought to invest more time and money in transferring our current fossil fuel-based energy addiction to the sweet, sweet methadone of alternative fuel sources. But as a staunch ladyist, I'm down with a plan that would reduce some of our investment in the fucked-up, anti-woman oil-igarchies of the Middle East and throw some cashola in the direction of this here United States and that there Canada.

However, I will cover all sides of the pipeline argument here, if it's interesting to do so! Which it may not be, in which case this is the last we shall speak of it!

2. I don't think Big Pharma is entirely evil. Partly this is because I come from a family that works for Big Pharma, and partly this is because I'm still alive thanks to sweet, sweet Prozac and delicious, delectable Xanax (as well as, y'know, that handy measles-mumps-rubella shot I got back in the day, and all that jazz.)

I think that it is an industry that has sometimes abused its power in ways that have yielded poor and even disastrous results for humans. I also think it is an industry that has made great strides and found ways to lengthen human life and improve the quality of human life considerably. That said, I'd love to see more health insurance coverage of what we call alternative therapies, including acupuncture, acupressure, massage and other healing modalities. But not flower essences. Those are bullshit. But I will fairly and balanced-ly cover things pharmaceutical and flower essence-y here, if necessary!

3. I'm really anti-butt sex. Not just for the gays. For everyone. I think it should be outlawed, not by humans but by Jehovallahbuddhz (this is what I call God, just in case), simply because I don't like it. Have you tried it? Don't. It's really uncomfortable. And messy. One day I would like to debate someone -- maybe on this website! -- on the pros and cons of butt sex, and really just get to the gooey, sticky center of the issue. Then and only then will democracy win. But anyway, if a major butt sex political story comes up, I'll handle it with care.

4. I think vegans are a menace to the revolution, because of their farts.

5. I'm not particularly interested in occupying anything, largely because of reason #4.

Well, that's about it for my less-than-ultra-liberal stances. Other than that, I'm pretty damn leftalicious. So expect to read some educational, informative and hopefully amusing stuff in this space about the election, Big Issues, political history, and of course, America's Husband, Mister Newt Gingrich. 'Til next time, strumpets!

[Follow Sara on Twitter for live-tweeting of tonight's State of the Union address! It will most certainly be awesome. ]

Posted in Issues, politics

May We Suggest