Lately I've been feeling quite loose and free in regard to my personal presentation. And my "loose and free," I mean slutty. Something about the tightening noose of impending marriage just makes you want to say to the world, "Hey, I'm still a giant ho-bag!"
My heels have gotten higher, my skirts have gotten shorter, and this morning, rather than bifurcating my back fat with a tight strapless bra, I decided to just let everything knock around in there, unfettered. I don't think you can really tell. Except for the fact that I have told pretty much everyone I've come into contact with. Bralessness is like a good bargain -- I just can't keep my mouth shut about it!
I'm one of those "This bra is a prison" type women. I don't think I have ever in my adult life I've ever left my house without one before. In college, I was dating this dom guy who lived in New Jersey who would sometimes tell me what to wear when I came out to meet him. (I'm so embarrassed that I used to take the train to fuck.) I would play along to the point of wearing ridiculous HIGH pigtails and knee socks, but as soon as he told me to go braless, I was like," BZZZZZZ, fantasy terminated."
Because he thought he wanted me braless, but he in fact did not. Or at least this is what I believed at the time: That he was imagining two flesh globes perfectly perched on my bare chest, instead of my actual upside-down Dorito tits being lightly skimmed by a T-shirt. In retrospect, who knows? I've had boyfriends who didn't notice dramatic hair color changes, so how sensitive to breast minutiae are they liked to be?
I mean, I actually sleep in my bra, which people tend to find incomprehensible, but I just feel more comfortable with everything strapped down so I don't end up with a nipple pinned under my elbow or whatever.
But maybe I've had things all wrong my whole life because I feel so free! And I know it's technically not work-appropriate to free-breast it at the office (Hi, HR!), but need I remind you that Jane is cool with on-the-clock toplessness?
Also, what are your tips for increasing sluttiness in my wardrobe? So far I have implemented bralessness and these very tall shoes.
Me and my boobs are on Twitter @msemilymccombs.