Great news! Your feet are fucked. And so are mine, and so are that lady's over there, and so are all the feet of all humans who've ever fallen prey to the allure of a fucking gorgeous high heeled shoe. Upside: If we're all fucked then we might as well look amazing.
London foot-scientists used 3D scanning technology to create a model of what high heels do to our tender extremities (or as I like to call them, nature's cars!):
I used to wear heels every day. Even when it was stupid. It was a point of pride. I towered over men and felt like a sexy she-Hulk. I danced so hard I'd be numb below the ankle for days. I tromped up and down my college campus's giant hills thinking, "MY TOES ARE SOLDIERS." I turned ankles and lost heels in grates and slipped down flights of stairs (no traction on those bitchez) and walked home barefoot so that my feet were all sliced up and black. CLEARLY IT WAS A GREAT PLAN.
Now that I am no longer 25 and can't even be bothered to shave my legs or put on clothes or moisturize or open my eyes or leave the house or be vertical or wash fruit before I eat it, my heel collection has been sloooooowly dwindling. My toe-soldiers are in open revolt. Sometimes I'll slip on a pair of heels but chicken out by the time I get to the door. The pain just isn't worth it anymore—and fortunately, I suppose, laziness + LTR took over before my shit got permanently clawed. (I did recently invest in these, though, and I'm PRETTY JAZZED ABOUT IT.)
That said, fuck the foot-scientists. High heels look amazing and I would totally still wear them if I could stand it. You do you.
Reprinted with permission from Jezebel.