The Dumbest Drug Abuse Prevention Product Ever. EVER!!!

This pill locker is the kind of thing that a only drug addict would buy, because no sober person would be so delusional and stupid.

Apr 6, 2011 at 7:09pm | Leave a comment

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Every time I go to my Walgreens to fill a prescription I glare at this stupid thing. The Rx Pill Locker! Please.

I'm a reformed pillhead, which is a cute label I instinctively use to deflect the stigma of having had been sleepless, weepy, compulsively manipulative and dishonest 103-pound idiot loony toon space alien determined to murder her own life for ten very long, very formative, and very wack years. Like, I lived on another planet. My skin was green.

Anyway, I never stole drugs. I never needed to. Doctors consistently gave me loads of whatever I wanted! They're dumb.

But I was friends with a bunch of other druggy people, and those people stole pills all of the time. Mainly from me. (I was too out of it and had too many to notice. It was like living inside a Damien Hirst installation.)

Yup, this pill locker is the kind of thing that a only drug addict would buy, because no sober person would be so delusional and stupid. Not only would it not work, it is screaming to be stolen!

Has Dr. Drew not seen "Drugstore Cowboy"? Why is he endorsing this dumb stuff? He's lucky that every lady drug addict in the world daydreams about him being his doctor. FACT: That is a lot of drug addicts.

If you want to hide something from a boy junkie, do what I learned from my urban bible Don Diva magazine and stash it in your tampon box. I don't know where to hide something from a girl. Ideas?