I’ve learned is that pregnancy is one of those things pop culture gets very, very wrong.
Because my ego is disproportionate to my worth, I felt like I couldn't disappoint “my public.” I Googled “edible bugs” and ordered some from Thailand in a manner that was most cavalier.
I went to buy Spanx, but since they won’t allow you to try Spanx on in the dressing rooms I had to buy three different sizes to ensure I would create the maximum amount of stomach suckage.
Even though I love sleeping, it’s obvious that I’m doing it wrong. Normal people don’t feel like puking every morning, and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one I know who actually cries when presented with a wake up time that is before sunrise.
I dip popcorn in soy sauce. My favorite foods are olives, pickles and cured meats. Without sodium chloride, I would start killing everyone.
In other words, I’m not very keen on my body, and I certainly don’t accept it. If one more person tells me I have to, I’m going to lose my shit and throw something really heavy and dangerous.
According to a new study out of Finland, high-stress jobs make women less attractive to dudes. Time to quit your job, everyone!
The F-word is forbidden in my house.
disgusting human kate conway
Life's too short to worry about microbes everywhere. I have a lot of television to catch up on.
I do many, many stupid things - like once putting an entire cupcake in the dryer****. But wearing expired sunscreen shouldn't be one of them.
Just think of a bunch of little puppies, playing.
how not to be a dick
When you tell someone with depression that they should maybe try harder to be happy, it's essentially like telling a diabetic that they could totally make an adequate amount of insulin if they just concentrated a little harder.
There has got to be a better way to live.
Case in point: have you had blisters on your feet? How often have you intentionally inflicted this pain upon yourself to look fashionable, fit in, or otherwise make yourself feel good? Why do you do it?
In case you’ve lost track, here are the things that are gross and you should never touch: bathrooms, kitchens, money, hotel rooms, the steering wheel of your car, your disgusting purse, phones, computer keyboards, door handles.
i love to talk about therapy
Turns out I hadn't gone seven days without alcohol in over a decade. Oopsie!