Last night I got home and I was in a FOUL mood. I don't even know why -- I was preparing a decent meal, which I then enjoyed, Chris was out of the house long enough to allow me to have that nice period of "me" time before he got home, he was in a great mood when he got in, complimented me on the dinner -- all very pleasant.
But for some reason I just could not shake this stinker of a mood. I was mean and snappy, and then ate a load of Birthday Cake Oreos to try and make myself feel better. I just ended up feeling sick. DAMN YOU, DELICIOUS CRACK COOKIES.
At about 9.30pm, I gave up. I thought, "Eff this noise. I'm off to bed." I went into the bedroom and lay down on my reeeaaally comfy bed, still fully clothed and simply couldn't be arsed to get up again. So I thought, "You know what? I'm an ADULT! If I want to go to bed in all my clothes, THEN I SHALL!" So I unclipped my bra and pulled it through the sleeve of my jumper, like Rachel in Friends when she's dressed as a cheerleader, and got under the covers in my leggings and jumper. IT FELT SO NAUGHTY, GUYS!
Instantly my mood improved. I felt triumphant in my rebellion. I was wearing my CLOTHES! To BED! And you know what else? I DIDN'T BRUSH MY TEETH EITHER.
I got to thinking about why it felt so good to do something so completely not-even-naughty-at-all, and why it felt so groundbreaking to me. I guess it roots back to childhood, with being told what you're allowed to do and not allowed to do. Of course, as a child, you're not generally told that you can go to bed in all your clothes. You have your bedtime garments, your bedtime routine, and that's what you learn and what you repeat into adulthood.
You wash your face, brush your teeth, wear your PJs or whatever and then you go to bed. Simple! But it's also, oh, so simple to just leave that cozy, warm jumper on and just drift off in it.
I really love that feeling you get when you remember that actually, you're a grown up, and that ACTUAL adults can't tell you off for doing things.
Sometimes, I get a real thrill from the thought of being allowed in a bar at lunchtime, and that I could order a cocktail.
I never, ever do this. At lunchtime I walk around town aimlessly with my headphones in and then buy loads of sweets from M&S instead, but, if I really wanted to, I COULD go and have a drink at lunch! Like the grown-ups do! I could order a Mint Julep or an Old Fashioned and sit in the corner and read a book whilst sipping and looking really fucking sophisticated, because I'm nearly 27, which means I'm a GROWN UP.
In other, completely un-rock'n'roll revelations, sometimes I get a real surge of electric excitement when I look at my living room before bed, taking in the glasses we've used throughout the night, socks on the floor, books and magazines scattered among the cushions and I think, "HA! I don't have to clear you up! I can leave all this stuff here ALL NIGHT and no one will see it!" -- and I stomp off to bed, chin high in the air like I've just won a race or something. Am I mental?
Obviously I don't do this all the time, because if we did, we'd live in a total mess. But sometimes, it's just great to think, "NAH. Can't be arsed."
Similarly, sometimes I put a load of washing in the machine, let it run for an hour, hear it stop, and then simply refuse to go and empty it and hang everything up. I then leave it in there, wet, until the next night when I have to rewash everything like an idiot. Honestly, the amount of times I do this is quite ridiculous. It's completely un eco-friendly, I waste shitloads of money in water and washing detergent and it takes more time. But sometimes it just feels so good to refuse to open that door and get all the wet washing out, you get me?
Continuing my entirely rebellious streak, I shall tonight have mushrooms on toast for dinner, even though it's got no nutritional value and it's not really a "proper" dinner. I might even have some more toast as a side. BECAUSE I CAN.
And then, I might make myself a juice and not clean the juicer. Maybe I'll even read a book in the bath and GET THE PAGES WET!
So tell me, what things do you get a quiet kick out of doing? What things make you glad to be an adult? Do you always have to re-wash all your clothes? Please tell me you do.
Being a STONE COLD REBEL on Twitter: @Natalie_KateM.