Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
I meet a lot of crazy people. In fact, if you must know, I'm a bit of a crazy magnet.
But the other day I talked to a man who just may win my unofficial contest of crazy. I was talking to him while I was at the dog park. And he interrupted me as I was saying that I was an Internet writer, and he told me to hold on so he could listen better.
But not to me.
I thought maybe there was a problem with one of the dogs, but no it wasn't that. A fly had landed near us on the bench. The man looked intensely at the fly and said, "She's talking to me about you."
I laughed nervously. "What did she say about me?"
He responded, completely straight faced: “She said it was kind of sexy, me talking to you about her.”
Then the fly landed on me, and the man giggled.
“Why are you laughing?” I asked.
He lit a cigarette and responded, “Fly thoughts.”
And then, I kid you not, the fly wouldn't leave me alone, biting my arm and drawing blood.
On second thought, maybe he wasn't crazy. Maybe he was some kind of a warlock.
What about you? Got any good crazy person stories? If you live in New York, I know you have 1,002.
Find Mandy long-form at http://tinyurl.com/stadtmiller.