"Moist," "Bulge," "Synergy," "Ooze," "Avocado," What Words Properly Creep You Out?

I was out at a bar when the word "bulge" was misguidedly used in conversation. It just kind of bulged there.

Dec 11, 2013 at 12:30pm | Leave a comment

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This is a terrible picture of me but Rajasri looks kind of properly perturbed so, we'll go with it.

Let me set the scene for how the Worst Words conversation began.

I was out at a bar with my personal intern Rajasri, who is very attractive and very young, and who I am constantly having to ward creepers away from. Well, this was a media mixer so I didn't think it would be too bad. Except, then this happened.

We were at the Rodeo Bar (which has baskets of peanuts everywhere), and this man comes up to her. Instantly, I saw her entire body recoiling backwards -- like she was doing some kind of physical comedic acrobatics from a Jim Carrey movie. I turned to see what was going on when I hear it from old hot-breath talk-too-close: "So, uh...my friend and I were just noticing that when you eat peanuts, it's like your muscles, they…bulge."

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Rajasri prepares some moist dog food while her arm muscles look perfectly great, with not a sexualized objectified bulge in sight. Seriously, F that creep who said that. Yuck.

I quickly overtook the conversation, stood between her and the man and started talking about how strong and imposing Rajasri's military sarge boyfriend is, and that pretty quickly took care of that as he inched defeatedly away.

But still: BULGE?

Ugh. Ever since the incident, we've been compiling a list of Words That Are the Worst. (Actually as I write this, I'm going to add "incident" to that list. Such an obnoxious word. Ppppffft. I spit on you, word known as incident.) Then I took to Twitter and Facebook to do an informal poll, and here's what I got:

  • ooze
  • panties
  • synergy
  • avocado
  • ish
  • puss
  • fart
  • horny
  • stinky
  • slurp
  • babe
  • secretion
  • mulch
  • unattractive
  • problematic
  • unpack
  • crotch
  • skit
  • widget
  • yolo
  • twerk
  • yeast
  • stroke
  • swell
  • discharge
  • musk
  • delectable
  • gushing
  • whatevs
  • selfie
  • nosh
  • seepage
  • the pizza chain known as "Hot N' Crusty"

What you got? Any other bulge-worthy contenders? I promise not to gush.