I CAN'T: This PR Email Wants You To Know That Eating One Life Saver Per Day Is Making You Fat

"If you eat the equivalent of one Life Saver, only 10 calories, over your body’s caloric needs every day, you’ll have gained a pound by the end of a year."

May 2, 2014 at 1:30pm | Leave a comment

Put down that banana and read this, you out-of-control Lifesaver-chomping fatty. I get a lot of hilariously inappropriate weight-loss-oriented email from publicists, but I laughed so hard at the following that I had a coughing fit. Thereby demonstrating that The Obesery is killing me at last. 
Dear Ms. Kinzel,
 
Most people don’t become obese by binge eating or a thyroid problem. Weight gain can be unnervingly insidious and usually comes from eating anywhere from 10 to 100 calories more than you need per day. Yes, you read those numbers right – just 10 to 100 calories a day.
 
If you eat the equivalent of one Life Saver, only 10 calories, over your body’s caloric needs every day, you’ll have gained a pound by the end of a year. Increase those extra calories to 100 a day, and you’ll be ten pounds heavier than you were just a year before. If you keep it up for ten years, you’ll step on the scale finding that you’ve gained a staggering one hundred pounds. That’s why you can wake up at 40 thinking you haven’t really been eating that much to find that you’ve crossed the line into obesity.
 
As a way to help educate overweight and obese people on permanent weight loss, prominent bariatric surgeon, [REDACTED] wrote the new book, [REDACTED].  "Most people have no idea how overweight they are until something bad or embarrassing happens," said [REDACTED]. "It’s as though your mind’s eye protects you from seeing yourself as you really are up until the moment when your doctor tells you that you have diabetes or you see a photo of yourself at the company picnic."  [...]
 
Would you be interested in speaking to [REDACTED] or receiving a copy of his book [REDACTED]? 
 
I look forward to hearing from you.
 
Best,
 
[REDACTED]
Posted in Fun, fat, I can't