How Smart Are Your Pets? (My Corgi is Really, Really Dumb)

In other news, I keep rescheduling the "unmanning" of my dog because I'm scared he's going to hurt himself post-surgery.
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In other news, I keep rescheduling the "unmanning" of my dog because I'm scared he's going to hurt himself post-surgery.
He looks like he's good at learning in this photo, but he isn't. 

He looks like he's good at learning in this photo, but he isn't. 

Next week, we are taking Spondee to get fixed. I have already rescheduled the appointment twice because I'm a nervous wreck and hate the idea of the bean limping around with a plastic cone flattening his adorable ears. 

Yes.  Spondee is two years old and we're having him neutered just now. (He only has one descended testicle and a sunny personality so we've been putting it off.)

Can you blame me for not taking Baby Spondee to the vet for surgery? Could you have dropped this puppy off anywhere? (No...the answer is no.) 

Can you blame me for not taking Baby Spondee to the vet for surgery? Could you have dropped this puppy off anywhere? (No...the answer is no.) 

I am scared his personality is going to change.

I am scared he is going to get fat and snarly. 

But I am more scared that his not-quite-descended testicle will turn into cancer so we're having the operation done ON TUESDAY and I am not allowed to reschedule or pout or steal the dog and drive far, far away (even though Spondee loves car rides).

Before you admonish me: Spondee does not normally sit in the front seat, but traffic was at a standstill and LOOK HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS DADDY. 

Before you admonish me: Spondee does not normally sit in the front seat, but traffic was at a standstill and LOOK HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS DADDY. 

Spondee's dad assures me that his personality will not change and that he will not become obese, but I am still concerned about the look of betrayal that may or may not be on Spondee's face when we pick him up from the vet. 

Here is Spondee posing with a book his dad wrote. It's funny because he can't read. 

Here is Spondee posing with a book his dad wrote. It's funny because he can't read. 

I know he will be okay, but (and now we're getting to the crux of this whole article) Spondee is not smart. 

Spondee is not graceful. See below:

At least there's no snow on the ground so Spondee won't hurt himself doing snow-puppy calisthenics. 

At least there's no snow on the ground so Spondee won't hurt himself doing snow-puppy calisthenics. 

I am worried he's going to pull his stitches out or strain his groin and spill his insides out all over whatever piece of furniture he is too small to jump on, but desperately determined to snuggle on. 

Spondee frequently gets stung by bees because has not learned not to put his nose into flowers where there are bees.

All the bees are dying. It's a real epidemic and very serious. 

All the bees are dying. It's a real epidemic and very serious. 

Spondee has startled himself into wakefulness with the sound of his own flatulence. 

Spondee eats chapsticks and beauty blenders and cat food (when he can get to it). 

Spondee is not a very smart dog and I am a worried pet parent and I am being melancholy and squeezing the bean too much and having bad dreams so please flood this comment sections with pictures of your pets happily posing in their plastic cones and/or any advice on caring for post-opt pups and cats.