Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
The Great Wall of Vagina in all its glory
As the phenomenal popularity of bikini waxes and rise of labiaplasty surgeries show, we’re nothing if not ashamed of our lady gardens (sorry if you're not a fan of twee euphemisms for vagina, but there’s only so many times I can bring myself to say the V word in a fairly short post, because I’m actually about 12. Plus, some of them are pretty funny).
Incidentally, I’m totally down with Jenna’s decision to get labiaplasty surgery, simply because because the thought of the chaffing is making my eyes water all the way over here in London.
Anyway, dragging myself laboriously back to the point, there’s one chap in the UK who's decided to teach us all to love our vaginas again, and I think we need to salute him.
I'm talking about artist Jamie McCartney, who’s current exhibition Skin Deep at the Hay Hill Gallery in London features The Great Wall of Vaginas. The wall is a huge panel of plaster casts of women’s genitalia, each of them unique.
The 400 casts feature women aged 18-76 years old. It includes mothers and daughters, identical twins, trangender men and women, plus a woman before and after she gave birth and another woman pre and post labiaplasty. As well as celebrating the female form, the exhibition challenges traditional ideas of what's "normal" -- we're all beautiful, y'all!
The finished sculpture -that's a whole lot of vaginas
Talking about the project, Jamie (AKA the World's Most Enlightened Man), said: "for many women their genital appearance is a source of anxiety and I was in a unique position to do something about that. This is what normal women look like close up…and I think it’s rather beautiful.”
In my quest to avoid saying vagina more than once in a feature, I’ve done a quick straw poll of my friends to find out what euphemisms they used for their lady bits as a child (and, if they're anything like me, as an adult).
How many twee euphemisms for vagina does one woman need?
Here are my favourites -- incidentally, none from Phoebe, who, when I asked if she had any, briskly said no and continued typing.
- Foof - Noo noo - Ninny - Lady garden - Twinkle - Butterfly - Good girl
But I'm sure you can all do better than this, oui?