Goldie Starling's Hot Wax Makeup Tutorial, AKA The Grossest Thing You'll See Today

Keep your barf bags at the ready, because this Halloween makeup artist is NOT foolin' around.
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Jenny
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Keep your barf bags at the ready, because this Halloween makeup artist is NOT foolin' around.

A friend recently asked me to run the bake sale table at a Halloween-themed fundraiser at her kid's school this weekend. I quickly agreed, since I happen to enjoy baking -- and if my baking helps raise some money for field trips and after-school programs, that's an awesome bonus.

Selfishly, I also wanted to do it because they turned the basement of the school into a haunted house and there is NO WAY I'm missing that, even if I did pee my pants at the last one I went to (not at all joking).

Anyway, I'm supposed to dress in costume while I'm slinging treats, so I started browsing around on YouTube for a little inspiration.

GoldieWax

Turns out I don't need a haunted house to piss myself...all I need is Goldie Starling's YouTube channel, specifically her "Hot Wax" tutorial. Please put on your Depends and hold your loved ones close before clicking "play" on this sucker:

YIKES. While this look is undeniably amazing, and easier to create than you'd think it would be, something tells me that a bunch of elementary school kids might not be thrilled if I showed up sporting a drippy, shiny, melting face and milky eyeballs. So, I should maybe save this one for a rainy day.

"Hot Wax" is just the tip of the iceberg from the frighteningly talented Goldie Starling -- her special effects makeup is seriously top notch. She's created evil doll faces, Edward Scissorhands, Rotted-Faced Pam from "True Blood", and posessed Regan from "The Exorcist." AAAAHHHH!!

While we're talking YouTube, I have to give an honorable mention to the filthy and disgusting (yet hilarious) "Human Centipede" tutorial by Glowpinkstah. I'll admit it, I laughed my head off when she describes applying the fake bandages as, "...like a scarf, almost, except it's not winter and you're not going out, because you're stuck ass-to-mouth."

Yeah, I'm starting to think I'll just throw on my eyeball leggings and a witch hat and call it a day. Can I interest you in a lemon square?