Run Zip Jacket by Stella McCartney for ADIDAS, $200

If Michael Jackson coached a track team of tiny chimpanzees this is what he'd wear to the championships. Also it glows in the dark. Need I go on?

Under Armour ColdGear Fierce Women's Tights, $59.99:

If I came barelling down your block wearing these bad boys you'd be forced to bow down or "Move bitch, get out the way."

Adidas Climacool Ride Shoes, $90

Cool is in the title so there's that. Plus RUN DMC pretty much annointed the brand back before I could spell it. So, if I'm going to run I have to do it the DMC way. 

MCQ by Alexander McQueen Gloves in Red, $145

Seeing as how I still don't know how to drive (I start class in January) I have absolutely no clue what driving gloves are for, and these aren't even really driving gloves. But who cares? They're awesome.

Amelia Sunglass by American Apparel, $80

When I sneak into the advance screening of "Helena Hits the Highway" I'm wearing these. Also I'm sitting next to Burt Reynolds. 

Codello Heraldic Animal Print Scarf by Asos, $99.99

Every Sunday speed racer needs a sexy scarf to keep from getting split ends whilst she rips up the road. I am no different.

ANU Yellow Drape Side Kaftan, $495

Know how I know Liz Taylor was uber rich? The Kaftans! Seriously these things are PRICEY like a second mortgage. No wonder Mr. Roper needed the rent on time, he had to support Helen's habit!

Kenneth Jay Lane Snake Chain Necklace, $93

This gold bib necklace kicks it Cleopatra style without all the racial subterfuge of the actual 1963 movie Liz starred in. 

The Elizabeth Taylor Aids Foundation

I don't know about you all but there have been some scary times when this uninsured girl has needed some reassurance regarding her "status." And let's just say that the FREE medical center dedicated to Dame Elizabeth Taylor in DC came to the rescue.