The Best Dolly Parton Tweets (and Why I Am Desperate to Get to a Cracker Barrel)

Hari Rama, Dolly Dolly, Krishna Krishna.
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Hari Rama, Dolly Dolly, Krishna Krishna.

I was perusing Dolly Parton's Twitter feed like I do every morning, bleaching my mustache and singing "Jolene" when I noticed something unusual.

This:

dollylama

How did I not notice this before? Was the steam from my morning bowl of pone fogging my glasses?

Some lengthy investigative journalism (googling "Dolly Parton Cracker Barrel?!!!!!!!") reveals that this CD came out in April and has already gone gold.

This SUCKS, because my original list of things to do today was

1) meet with a trainer

2) buy mayonnaise

3) DON'T DIE ON THE HIGHWAY THUMBING A RIDE  TO CRACKER BARREL

As I JUST promised my girl friend I would not hitchhike any more, "even as a joke," I decided to email my friends and ask for a ride. I share it with you because it contains the only appropriate response to "Is there a Cracker Barrel near here where I can buy a Dolly Parton CD":

CRACKERBARREL

Guys, I'm not even kidding. I'm going to Cracker Barrel so I can buy and review this CD. Spoiler Alert: FIVE STARS A +PLUS RECOMMENDED.

While I'm off doing that, why don't you enjoy these, some of my favorite tweets from Dolly's official account?

Say them loud, and there's music playing, say them soft, and it's almost like praying.

dolly1

DOLLY2

DOLLY3

DOLLY4

dolly5

dolly6

dolly7

(And my personal favorite, because, what? Oh, Dolly.)

dolly8

Be right back, my chicken dumplings.